No. 0. Quote: 
You may be gone tomorrow, but that doesn't mean that you weren't here today.
 
No. 1. Quote: 
You will soon forget this.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side?  And hain't that a big
enough majority in any town?
		-- Mark Twain, "Huckleberry Finn"
 
No. 3. Quote: 
You're at the end of the road again.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
Caution: Keep out of reach of children.
 
No. 5. Quote: 
You will be the victim of a bizarre joke.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
Swerve me?  The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails,
whereon my soul is grooved to run.  Over unsounded gorges, through
the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!
		-- Captain Ahab, "Moby Dick"
 
No. 8. Quote: 
You dialed 5483.
 
No. 9. Quote: 
Q:	What looks like a cat, flies like a bat, brays like a donkey, and
	plays like a monkey?
A:	Nothing.
 
No. 10. Quote: 
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 11. Quote: 
"Speak, thou vast and venerable head," muttered Ahab, "which, though
ungarnished with a beard, yet here and there lookest hoary with mosses; speak,
mighty head, and tell us the secret thing that is in thee.  Of all divers,
thou has dived the deepest.  That head upon which the upper sun now gleams has
moved amid the world's foundations.  Where unrecorded names and navies rust,
and untold hopes and anchors rot; where in her murderous hold this frigate
earth is ballasted with bones of millions of the drowned; there, in that awful
water-land, there was thy most familiar home.  Thou hast been where bell or
diver never went; has slept by many a sailer's side, where sleepless mothers
would give their lives to lay them down.  Thou saw'st the locked lovers when
leaping from their flaming ship; heart to heart they sank beneath the exulting
wave; true to each other, when heaven seemed false to them.  Thou saw'st the
murdered mate when tossed by pirates from the midnight deck; for hours he fell
into the deeper midnight of the insatiate maw; and his murderers still sailed
on unharmed -- while swift lightnings shivered the neighboring ship that would
have borne a righteous husband to outstretched, longing arms.  O head! thou has
seen enough to split the planets and make an infidel of Abraham, and not one
syllable is thine!"
		-- H. Melville, "Moby Dick"
 
No. 12. Quote: 
Give your very best today.  Heaven knows it's little enough.
 
No. 13. Quote: 
Next Friday will not be your lucky day.  As a matter of fact, you don't
have a lucky day this year.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made
school boards.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 15. Quote: 
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but
the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they
have obtained from books of travel.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 16. Quote: 
You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationships.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
Today is the last day of your life so far.
 
No. 18. Quote: 
I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.  I
will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future.  The Spirits of all
Three shall strive within me.  I will not shut out the lessons that they
teach.  Oh, tell me that I may sponge away the writing on this stone!
		-- Charles Dickens
 
No. 19. Quote: 
A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.
		-- Philip Larkin on Anthony Burgess
 
No. 20. Quote: 
You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationships.
 
No. 21. Quote: 
Long life is in store for you.
 
No. 22. Quote: 
The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference
between a mermaid and a seal.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 23. Quote: 
Q:	Why was Stonehenge abandoned?
A:	It wasn't IBM compatible.
 
No. 24. Quote: 
Q:	How many Harvard MBA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:	Just one.  He grasps it firmly and the universe revolves around him.