No. 0. Quote: 
Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.
		-- Wm. Shakespeare
 
No. 1. Quote: 
Q:	What do you call a WASP who doesn't work for his father, isn't a
	lawyer, and believes in social causes?
A:	A failure.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
Q:	Why haven't you graduated yet?
A:	Well, Dad, I could have finished years ago, but I wanted
	my dissertation to rhyme.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
Your boss is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.
 
No. 5. Quote: 
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 6. Quote: 
You are standing on my toes.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 8. Quote: 
	The Priest's grey nimbus in a niche where he dressed discreetly.
I will not sleep here tonight. Home also I cannot go.
	A voice, sweetened and sustained, called to him from the sea.
Turning the curve he waved his hand.  A sleek brown head, a seal's, far
out on the water, round.  Usurper.
		-- James Joyce, "Ulysses"
 
No. 9. Quote: 
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must
have somebody to divide it with.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 10. Quote: 
Q:	How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A:	One.
 
No. 11. Quote: 
You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears.
 
No. 12. Quote: 
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last
you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his
Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
		-- Mark Twain "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court"
 
No. 13. Quote: 
You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.
 
No. 15. Quote: 
You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to.
 
No. 16. Quote: 
Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
Things past redress and now with me past care.
		-- William Shakespeare, "Richard II"
 
No. 18. Quote: 
And do you think (fop that I am) that I could be the Scarlet Pumpernickel?
 
No. 19. Quote: 
Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.
		-- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"
 
No. 20. Quote: 
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #19
A:	To be or not to be.
Q:	What is the square root of 4b^2?
 
No. 21. Quote: 
AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE!
	FEAR! FIRE! FOES!
		AWAKE! AWAKE!
		-- J. R. R. Tolkien
 
No. 22. Quote: 
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what
you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 23. Quote: 
October.

This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in.

The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June,
December, August, and February.

		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 24. Quote: 
You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.