No. 0. Quote: 
Q:	What do you get when you cross a mobster with an international standard?
A:	You get someone who makes you an offer that you can't understand!
 
No. 1. Quote: 
Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
Q:	How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:	None.  We'll fix it in software.

Q:	How many system programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:	None.  The application can work around it.

Q:	How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:	None.  We'll document it in the manual.

Q:	How many tech writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:	None.  The user can figure it out.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
You two ought to be more careful--your love could drag on for years and years.
 
No. 5. Quote: 
Q:	What do you call a blind pre-historic animal?
A:	Diyathinkhesaurus.

Q:	What do you call a blind pre-historic animal with a dog?
A:	Diyathinkhesaurus Rex.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
Let me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.
		-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"
 
No. 8. Quote: 
Clothes make the man.  Naked people have little or no influence on society.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 9. Quote: 
You may be recognized soon.  Hide.
 
No. 10. Quote: 
The Least Successful Collector
	Betsy Baker played a central role in the history of collecting.  She
was employed as a servant in the house of John Warburton (1682-1759) who had
amassed a fine collection of 58 first edition plays, including most of the
works of Shakespeare.
	One day Warburton returned home to find 55 of them charred beyond
legibility.  Betsy had either burned them or used them as pie bottoms.  The
remaining three folios are now in the British Museum.
	The only comparable literary figure was the maid who in 1835 burned
the manuscript of the first volume of Thomas Carlyle's "The Hisory of the
French Revolution", thinking it was wastepaper.
		-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 
No. 11. Quote: 
Your sister swims out to meet troop ships.
 
No. 12. Quote: 
Celebrate Hannibal Day this year.  Take an elephant to lunch.
 
No. 13. Quote: 
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would
be a merrier world.
		-- J.R.R. Tolkien
 
No. 14. Quote: 
Reader, suppose you were an idiot.  And suppose you were a member of
Congress.  But I repeat myself.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 15. Quote: 
You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the
obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and
an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.
		-- Sherlock Holmes, "The Norwood Builder"
 
No. 16. Quote: 
Good news.  Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
Day of inquiry.  You will be subpoenaed.
 
No. 18. Quote: 
Q:	Where's the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
A:	To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump!

Q:	What's the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant hill?
A:	Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant...
 
No. 19. Quote: 
It is right that he too should have his little chronicle, his memories,
his reason, and be able to recognize the good in the bad, the bad in the
worst, and so grow gently old all down the unchanging days and die one
day like any other day, only shorter.
		-- Samuel Beckett, "Malone Dies"
 
No. 20. Quote: 
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more
deadly in the long run.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 21. Quote: 
You are standing on my toes.
 
No. 22. Quote: 
You will contract a rare disease.
 
No. 23. Quote: 
You don't become a failure until you're satisfied with being one.
 
No. 24. Quote: 
For courage mounteth with occasion.
		-- William Shakespeare, "King John"