No. 0. Quote: 
Truth will out this morning.  (Which may really mess things up.)
 
No. 1. Quote: 
Your motives for doing whatever good deed you may have in mind will be
misinterpreted by somebody.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
If you learn one useless thing every day, in a single year you'll learn
365 useless things.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
Q:	What do you call a principal female opera singer whose high C
	is lower than those of other principal female opera singers?
A:	A deep C diva.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best
judge of one.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 5. Quote: 
Try to have as good a life as you can under the circumstances.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into
use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather
which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 7. Quote: 
Think twice before speaking, but don't say "think think click click".
 
No. 8. Quote: 
Your temporary financial embarrassment will be relieved in a surprising manner.
 
No. 9. Quote: 
You have a strong appeal for members of your own sex.
 
No. 10. Quote: 
Someone is speaking well of you.
 
No. 11. Quote: 
Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't
understand his own meaning.
		-- George D. Prentice
 
No. 12. Quote: 
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 13. Quote: 
Don't worry.  Life's too long.
		-- Vincent Sardi, Jr.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?
		-- Nero Wolfe, "The League of Frightened Men"
 
No. 15. Quote: 
Think twice before speaking, but don't say "think think click click".
 
No. 16. Quote: 
Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
		-- Ashleigh Brilliant
 
No. 17. Quote: 
If your life was a horse, you'd have to shoot it.
 
No. 18. Quote: 
It may or may not be worthwhile, but it still has to be done.
 
No. 19. Quote: 
You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon.
 
No. 20. Quote: 
Q:	What does it say on the bottom of Coke cans in North Dakota?
A:	Open other end.
 
No. 21. Quote: 
Snow Day -- stay home.
 
No. 22. Quote: 
You own a dog, but you can only feed a cat.
 
No. 23. Quote: 
Q:	Why don't Scotsmen ever have coffee the way they like it?
A:	Well, they like it with two lumps of sugar.  If they drink
	it at home, they only take one, and if they drink it while
	visiting, they always take three.
 
No. 24. Quote: 
Bank error in your favor.  Collect $200.