No. 0. Quote: 
Afternoon very favorable for romance.  Try a single person for a change.
 
No. 1. Quote: 
Today is what happened to yesterday.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
So this is it.  We're going to die.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
Q:	"What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic
	existentialist?"
A:	"Is there a dog?"
 
No. 4. Quote: 
Many pages make a thick book.
 
No. 5. Quote: 
You will be attacked by a beast who has the body of a wolf, the tail of
a lion, and the face of Donald Duck.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
Your business will go through a period of considerable expansion.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
For years a secret shame destroyed my peace--
I'd not read Eliot, Auden or MacNiece.
But now I think a thought that brings me hope:
Neither had Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope.
		-- Justin Richardson.
 
No. 8. Quote: 
Q:	What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A:	A stick.
 
No. 9. Quote: 
Time to be aggressive.  Go after a tattooed Virgo.
 
No. 10. Quote: 
Stay away from flying saucers today.
 
No. 11. Quote: 
You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
 
No. 12. Quote: 
You may be infinitely smaller than some things, but you're infinitely
larger than others.
 
No. 13. Quote: 
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
Q:	Why do people who live near Niagara Falls have flat foreheads?
A:	Because every morning they wake up thinking "What *is* that noise?
	Oh, right, *of course*!
 
No. 15. Quote: 
Fine day for friends.
So-so day for you.
 
No. 16. Quote: 
Mind!  I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is
particularly dead about a door-nail.  I might have been inclined, myself,
to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade.
But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands
shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for.  You will therefore permit
me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail.
		-- Charles Dickens, "A Christmas Carol"
 
No. 17. Quote: 
Q:	What do you call a half-dozen Indians with Asian flu?
A:	Six sick Sikhs (sic).
 
No. 18. Quote: 
Someone is speaking well of you.

How unusual!
 
No. 19. Quote: 
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
		-- "Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 20. Quote: 
You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.
 
No. 21. Quote: 
No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 22. Quote: 
Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.
		-- William Shakespeare, "The Taming of the Shrew"
 
No. 23. Quote: 
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 24. Quote: 
When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone
to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"