No. 0. Quote: 
Q:	How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying?
A:	When his lips move.
 
No. 1. Quote: 
You've been leading a dog's life.  Stay off the furniture.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
Cold hands, no gloves.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
Your lucky number has been disconnected.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying.  The
absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me
Deadpan Allie and lie.
		-- Pat Cadigan, "Mindplayers"
 
No. 5. Quote: 
Do not overtax your powers.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
Q:	What do you call the scratches that you get when a female
	sheep bites you?
A:	Ewe nicks.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here.
 
No. 8. Quote: 
You're currently going through a difficult transition period called "Life."
 
No. 9. Quote: 
Are you ever going to do the dishes?  Or will you change your major to biology?
 
No. 10. Quote: 
Many pages make a thick book.
 
No. 11. Quote: 
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 12. Quote: 
Don't get to bragging.
 
No. 13. Quote: 
This life is yours.  Some of it was given to you; the rest, you made yourself.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the
difference between lightning and the lightning bug.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 15. Quote: 
You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationships.
 
No. 16. Quote: 
Make a wish, it might come true.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
Tuesday After Lunch is the cosmic time of the week.
 
No. 18. Quote: 
In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made
school boards.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 19. Quote: 
"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 20. Quote: 
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what
you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 21. Quote: 
Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.
 
No. 22. Quote: 
Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues
of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself
a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst
be so superfluous to demand the time of the day.  I wasted time and now doth
time waste me.
		-- William Shakespeare
 
No. 23. Quote: 
"What's this?  Trix?  Aunt!  Trix?  You?  You're after the prize!  What
is it?"  He picked up the box and studied the back.  "A glow-in-the-dark
squid!  Have you got it out of there yet?"  He tilted the box, angling the
little colored balls of cereal so as to see the bottom, and nearly spilling
them onto the table top.  "Here it is!"  He hauled out a little cream-colored,
glitter-sprinkled squid, three-inches long and made out of rubbery plastic.
		-- James P. Blaylock, "The Last Coin"
 
No. 24. Quote: 
There's small choice in rotten apples.
		-- William Shakespeare, "The Taming of the Shrew"