No. 0. Quote: 
Be careful!  Is it classified?
 
No. 1. Quote: 
You are fighting for survival in your own sweet and gentle way.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
Q:	How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A:	Four.  Two in the front, two in the back.

Q:	How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A:	There's a footprint in the mayo.

Q:	How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:	There's two footprints in the mayo.

Q:	How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:	The door won't shut.

Q:	How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:	There's a VW Bug in your driveway.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
Exercise caution in your daily affairs.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
Q:	What's buried in Grant's tomb?
A:	A corpse.
 
No. 5. Quote: 
Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
Good news.  Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
The Least Successful Collector
	Betsy Baker played a central role in the history of collecting.  She
was employed as a servant in the house of John Warburton (1682-1759) who had
amassed a fine collection of 58 first edition plays, including most of the
works of Shakespeare.
	One day Warburton returned home to find 55 of them charred beyond
legibility.  Betsy had either burned them or used them as pie bottoms.  The
remaining three folios are now in the British Museum.
	The only comparable literary figure was the maid who in 1835 burned
the manuscript of the first volume of Thomas Carlyle's "The Hisory of the
French Revolution", thinking it was wastepaper.
		-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 
No. 8. Quote: 
Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.
		-- William Shakespeare, "The Rape of Lucrece"
 
No. 9. Quote: 
You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.
 
No. 10. Quote: 
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 11. Quote: 
You worry too much about your job.  Stop it.  You are not paid enough to worry.
 
No. 12. Quote: 
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted
armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.
		-- Ernest Hemingway
 
No. 13. Quote: 
Questionable day.

Ask somebody something.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
Must I hold a candle to my shames?
		-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"
 
No. 15. Quote: 
Many pages make a thick book, except for pocket Bibles which are on very
very thin paper.
 
No. 16. Quote: 
There was a phone call for you.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
Q:	How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A:	Unique up on it!

Q:	How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A:	The tame way!
 
No. 18. Quote: 
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but
the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they
have obtained from books of travel.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 19. Quote: 
	You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the
Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the
parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.
		-- Sherlock Holmes
 
No. 20. Quote: 
Q:	What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?
A:	A canary with the super-user password.
 
No. 21. Quote: 
It's a very *__UN*lucky week in which to be took dead.
		-- Churchy La Femme
 
No. 22. Quote: 
You will wish you hadn't.
 
No. 23. Quote: 
You are number 6!  Who is number one?
 
No. 24. Quote: 
Patch griefs with proverbs.
		-- William Shakespeare, "Much Ado About Nothing"