No. 0. Quote: 
Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.
 
No. 1. Quote: 
Your ignorance cramps my conversation.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty
attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.  A fool
takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge
which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with
a lot of other things, so that he has difficulty in laying his hands upon it.
Now the skilful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his
brain-attic.  He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing
his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect
order.  It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and
can distend to any extent.  Depend upon it there comes a time when for every
addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before.  It is of
the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out
the useful ones.
		-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "A Study in Scarlet"
 
No. 3. Quote: 
You will be run over by a bus.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
Good day for overcoming obstacles.  Try a steeplechase.
 
No. 5. Quote: 
Q:	How many IBM CPU's does it take to do a logical right shift?
A:	33.  1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
Q:	Why did the chicken cross the road?
A:	To see his friend Gregory peck.

Q:	Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A:	To get to the other slide.
 
No. 8. Quote: 
Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 9. Quote: 
You're a card which will have to be dealt with.
 
No. 10. Quote: 
If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.
		-- Ernest Hemingway
 
No. 11. Quote: 
If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.
		-- Ernest Hemingway
 
No. 12. Quote: 
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?  It is because we
are not the person involved.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 13. Quote: 
You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
Q:	Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation
	function, the more expensive it becomes to compute?
A:	That's the Law of Spline Demand.
 
No. 15. Quote: 
You will gain money by a fattening action.
 
No. 16. Quote: 
I'll burn my books.
		-- Christopher Marlowe
 
No. 17. Quote: 
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is
oblivion.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 18. Quote: 
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
 
No. 19. Quote: 
You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
 
No. 20. Quote: 
You're definitely on their list.  The question to ask next is what list it is.
 
No. 21. Quote: 
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 22. Quote: 
The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.
		-- John Milton
 
No. 23. Quote: 
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 24. Quote: 
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
		-- Mark Twain