No. 0. Quote: Perilous to all of us are the devices of an art deeper than we ourselves possess. -- Gandalf the Grey [J.R.R. Tolkien, "Lord of the Rings"] No. 1. Quote: Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging? A: Take away his credit cards. No. 2. Quote: You will get what you deserve. No. 3. Quote: Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree. No. 4. Quote: Q: What do you call the money you pay to the government when you ride into the country on the back of an elephant? A: A howdah duty. No. 5. Quote: Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God. -- Mark Twain No. 6. Quote: You will live a long, healthy, happy life and make bags of money. No. 7. Quote: Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope? A: To get to the other slide. No. 8. Quote: There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. -- Wm. Shakespeare, "Hamlet" No. 9. Quote: I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. -- Mark Twain No. 10. Quote: "I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures and battles." -- Bastian B. Bux No. 11. Quote: You will outgrow your usefulness. No. 12. Quote: We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more. -- Mark Twain No. 13. Quote: FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #5 A: The Halls of Montezuma and the Shores of Tripoli. Q: Name two families whose kids won't join the Marines. No. 14. Quote: They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps. -- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost" No. 15. Quote: You have a strong appeal for members of your own sex. No. 16. Quote: Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm as intelligent as ever. -- Samuel Beckett, "Endgame" No. 17. Quote: Q: What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous? A: A canary with the super-user password. No. 18. Quote: Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant? A: With a blue-elephant gun. Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant? A: Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue-elephant gun. No. 19. Quote: Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth. -- Mark Twain "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" No. 20. Quote: You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances. No. 21. Quote: You will be held hostage by a radical group. No. 22. Quote: Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose. No. 23. Quote: You need more time; and you probably always will. No. 24. Quote: You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things, so that he has difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skilful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones. -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "A Study in Scarlet"