No. 0. Quote: 
Tuesday is the Wednesday of the rest of your life.
 
No. 1. Quote: 
Q:	What do they call the alphabet in Arkansas?
A:	The impossible dream.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
You are destined to become the commandant of the fighting men of the
department of transportation.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
You will be recognized and honored as a community leader.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
A morgue is a morgue is a morgue.  They can paint the walls with aggressively
cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding
place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks.  Not that I
would have cared normally but my viewpoint was skewed.  The relentless
pleasance of the room I sat in seemed only grotesque.
		-- Pat Cadigan, "Mindplayers"
 
No. 5. Quote: 
Too much is just enough.
		-- Mark Twain, on whiskey
 
No. 6. Quote: 
You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #31
A:	Chicken Teriyaki.
Q:	What is the name of the world's oldest kamikaze pilot?
 
No. 8. Quote: 
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
 
No. 9. Quote: 
Consider well the proportions of things.  It is better to be a young June-bug
than an old bird of paradise.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 10. Quote: 
Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.
 
No. 11. Quote: 
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 12. Quote: 
You are standing on my toes.
 
No. 13. Quote: 
You two ought to be more careful--your love could drag on for years and years.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
 
No. 15. Quote: 
It is so very hard to be an
on-your-own-take-care-of-yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you
grown-up.
 
No. 16. Quote: 
You'll feel much better once you've given up hope.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
Break into jail and claim police brutality.
 
No. 18. Quote: 
The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that
will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 19. Quote: 
Never reveal your best argument.
 
No. 20. Quote: 
"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed.  Oh, I
know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must
be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people
I don't know yet and all kinds of adventures and battles."
		-- Bastian B. Bux
 
No. 21. Quote: 
A is for Apple.
		-- Hester Pryne
 
No. 22. Quote: 
Tomorrow, you can be anywhere.
 
No. 23. Quote: 
Consider well the proportions of things.  It is better to be a young June-bug
than an old bird of paradise.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 24. Quote: 
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must
have somebody to divide it with.
		-- Mark Twain