No. 0. Quote: 
Give him an evasive answer.
 
No. 1. Quote: 
Tell the truth or trump--but get the trick.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 2. Quote: 
Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
	"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!"
	"Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to
feel interested.
	"No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little
vexed.  "That's what the name is called.  The name really is, 'The Aged
Aged Man.'"
	"Then I ought to have said "That's what the song is called'?"
Alice corrected herself.
	"No, you oughtn't: that's quite another thing!  The song is
called 'Ways and Means':  but that's only what it is called you know!"
	"Well, what is the song then?" said Alice, who was by this
time completely bewildered.
	"I was coming to that," the Knight said.  "The song really is
"A-sitting on a Gate": and the tune's my own invention."
		-- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
 
No. 4. Quote: 
Day of inquiry.  You will be subpoenaed.
 
No. 5. Quote: 
I got a hint of things to come when I overheard my boss lamenting, 'The
books are done and we still don't have an author! I must sign someone
today!
		-- Tamim Ansary, "Edutopia Magazine, Issue 2, November 2004"
		   on the topic of school textbooks
 
No. 6. Quote: 
Don't Worry, Be Happy.
		-- Meher Baba
 
No. 7. Quote: 
Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
 
No. 8. Quote: 
To be or not to be.
		-- Shakespeare
To do is to be.
		-- Nietzsche
To be is to do.
		-- Sartre
Do be do be do.
		-- Sinatra
 
No. 9. Quote: 
There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by
ridicule, howsoever poor and witless.  Observe the ass, for instance: his
character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler
animals, yet see what ridicule has brought him to.  Instead of feeling
complimented when we are called an ass, we are left in doubt.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 10. Quote: 
Tonight you will pay the wages of sin; Don't forget to leave a tip.
 
No. 11. Quote: 
But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.
		-- William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar"
 
No. 12. Quote: 
You will be a winner today.  Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
 
No. 13. Quote: 
Q:	What do little WASPs want to be when they grow up?
A:	The very best person they can possibly be.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
You are fighting for survival in your own sweet and gentle way.
 
No. 15. Quote: 
Truth is the most valuable thing we have -- so let us economize it.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 16. Quote: 
You will get what you deserve.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
Good day to let down old friends who need help.
 
No. 18. Quote: 
Q:	What do you call the money you pay to the government when
	you ride into the country on the back of an elephant?
A:	A howdah duty.
 
No. 19. Quote: 
Today is the last day of your life so far.
 
No. 20. Quote: 
Excellent day to have a rotten day.
 
No. 21. Quote: 
The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.
		-- John Milton
 
No. 22. Quote: 
So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie;
and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head
into the shop. "What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently
married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Grand
Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all
fell to playing the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran
out at the heels of their boots.
		-- Samuel Foote
 
No. 23. Quote: 
You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
 
No. 24. Quote: 
Tuesday After Lunch is the cosmic time of the week.