No. 0. Quote: 
You will pay for your sins.  If you have already paid, please disregard
this message.
 
No. 1. Quote: 
Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
So you're back... about time...
 
No. 3. Quote: 
You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy.
A pity that it's totally undeserved.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
A horse!  A horse!  My kingdom for a horse!
		-- Wm. Shakespeare, "Richard III"
 
No. 5. Quote: 
Increased knowledge will help you now.  Have mate's phone bugged.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
He was part of my dream, of course -- but then I was part of his dream too.
		-- Lewis Carroll
 
No. 7. Quote: 
Among the lucky, you are the chosen one.
 
No. 8. Quote: 
Q:	Why was Stonehenge abandoned?
A:	It wasn't IBM compatible.
 
No. 9. Quote: 
Questionable day.

Ask somebody something.
 
No. 10. Quote: 
"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 11. Quote: 
This night methinks is but the daylight sick.
		-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"
 
No. 12. Quote: 
Q:	How do you play religious roulette?
A:	You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets
	struck by lightning first.
 
No. 13. Quote: 
Q:	What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney?
A:	An offer you can't understand.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
Someone is speaking well of you.

How unusual!
 
No. 15. Quote: 
Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
 
No. 16. Quote: 
ROMEO:		Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much.
MERCUTIO:	No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide
			as a church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
You will live to see your grandchildren.
 
No. 18. Quote: 
You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.
 
No. 19. Quote: 
You have the body of a 19 year old.  Please return it before it gets wrinkled.
 
No. 20. Quote: 
Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.
		-- Shakespeare
 
No. 21. Quote: 
You will be audited by the Internal Revenue Service.
 
No. 22. Quote: 
Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
 
No. 23. Quote: 
The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of
the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at
her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic
Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my
steel through your last meal!'
		-- Winning sentence, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
 
No. 24. Quote: 
You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.