No. 0. Quote: 
You will engage in a profitable business activity.
 
No. 1. Quote: 
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is
oblivion.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 2. Quote: 
Fine day for friends.
So-so day for you.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 4. Quote: 
Think twice before speaking, but don't say "think think click click".
 
No. 5. Quote: 
Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at
fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution.  Take
the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will
find she did it with a knife; but if you take simply the aspect of the pencil,
you will say that she did it with her teeth.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 6. Quote: 
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be
sorry.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 7. Quote: 
Q:	How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A:	Four.  Two in the front, two in the back.

Q:	How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A:	There's a footprint in the mayo.

Q:	How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:	There's two footprints in the mayo.

Q:	How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:	The door won't shut.

Q:	How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:	There's a VW Bug in your driveway.
 
No. 8. Quote: 
At once it struck me what quality went to form a man of achievement,
especially in literature, and which Shakespeare possessed so enormously
-- I mean negative capability, that is, when a man is capable of being
in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching
after fact and reason.
		-- John Keats
 
No. 9. Quote: 
Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.
		-- Shakespeare, "Coriolanus"
 
No. 10. Quote: 
Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.
		-- Wm. Shakespeare
 
No. 11. Quote: 
Q:	Who cuts the grass on Walton's Mountain?
A:	Lawn Boy.
 
No. 12. Quote: 
He was part of my dream, of course -- but then I was part of his dream too.
		-- Lewis Carroll
 
No. 13. Quote: 
Never reveal your best argument.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
Give thought to your reputation.  Consider changing name and moving to
a new town.
 
No. 15. Quote: 
You are so boring that when I see you my feet go to sleep.
 
No. 16. Quote: 
I dote on his very absence.
		-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"
 
No. 17. Quote: 
You will be singled out for promotion in your work.
 
No. 18. Quote: 
It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best
judge of one.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 19. Quote: 
You don't become a failure until you're satisfied with being one.
 
No. 20. Quote: 
Don't get to bragging.
 
No. 21. Quote: 
Try the Moo Shu Pork.  It is especially good today.
 
No. 22. Quote: 
You will be winged by an anti-aircraft battery.
 
No. 23. Quote: 
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 24. Quote: 
Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator.