No. 0. Quote: 
"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often
picturesque liar."
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 1. Quote: 
Q:	Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A:	To get to the other slide.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.
		-- William Shakespeare, "Henry IV"
 
No. 3. Quote: 
Love is in the offing.  Be affectionate to one who adores you.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
People are beginning to notice you.  Try dressing before you leave the house.
 
No. 5. Quote: 
Q:	How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A:	Four.  Two in the front, two in the back.

Q:	How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A:	There's a footprint in the mayo.

Q:	How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:	There's two footprints in the mayo.

Q:	How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:	The door won't shut.

Q:	How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:	There's a VW Bug in your driveway.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
Do something unusual today.  Pay a bill.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
Q:	What do little WASPs want to be when they grow up?
A:	The very best person they can possibly be.
 
No. 8. Quote: 
Tomorrow will be cancelled due to lack of interest.
 
No. 9. Quote: 
Q:	How many IBM CPU's does it take to do a logical right shift?
A:	33.  1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.
 
No. 10. Quote: 
Q:	How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A:	Only one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has
	to really want to change.
 
No. 11. Quote: 
I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamt that I was reading on,
so I woke up from sheer boredom.
 
No. 12. Quote: 
Condense soup, not books!
 
No. 13. Quote: 
Q:	What does it say on the bottom of Coke cans in North Dakota?
A:	Open other end.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
	You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the
Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the
parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.
		-- Sherlock Holmes
 
No. 15. Quote: 
Afternoon very favorable for romance.  Try a single person for a change.
 
No. 16. Quote: 
Q:	How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat?
A:	Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.

Q:	How long does it take?
A:	It's indeterminate.
	It will depend upon how many flats they've brought with them.

Q:	What happens if you've got TWO flats?
A:	They replace your generator.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
It was all so different before everything changed.
 
No. 18. Quote: 
The only people for me are the mad ones -- the ones who are mad to live,
mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn
like fabulous yellow Roman candles.
		-- Jack Kerouac, "On the Road"
 
No. 19. Quote: 
Slow day.  Practice crawling.
 
No. 20. Quote: 
There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty.
"When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 21. Quote: 
It was all so different before everything changed.
 
No. 22. Quote: 
You are going to have a new love affair.
 
No. 23. Quote: 
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 24. Quote: 
Q:	Why was Stonehenge abandoned?
A:	It wasn't IBM compatible.