No. 0. Quote: 
Q:	What is purple and commutes?
A:	An Abelian grape.
 
No. 1. Quote: 
You have the capacity to learn from mistakes.  You'll learn a lot today.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
A light wife doth make a heavy husband.
		-- Wm. Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"
 
No. 3. Quote: 
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #31
A:	Chicken Teriyaki.
Q:	What is the name of the world's oldest kamikaze pilot?
 
No. 5. Quote: 
You are standing on my toes.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
Knucklehead:	"Knock, knock"
Pee Wee:	"Who's there?"
Knucklehead:	"Little ol' lady."
Pee Wee:	"Liddle ol' lady who?"
Knucklehead:	"I didn't know you could yodel"
 
No. 7. Quote: 
"Speak, thou vast and venerable head," muttered Ahab, "which, though
ungarnished with a beard, yet here and there lookest hoary with mosses; speak,
mighty head, and tell us the secret thing that is in thee.  Of all divers,
thou has dived the deepest.  That head upon which the upper sun now gleams has
moved amid the world's foundations.  Where unrecorded names and navies rust,
and untold hopes and anchors rot; where in her murderous hold this frigate
earth is ballasted with bones of millions of the drowned; there, in that awful
water-land, there was thy most familiar home.  Thou hast been where bell or
diver never went; has slept by many a sailer's side, where sleepless mothers
would give their lives to lay them down.  Thou saw'st the locked lovers when
leaping from their flaming ship; heart to heart they sank beneath the exulting
wave; true to each other, when heaven seemed false to them.  Thou saw'st the
murdered mate when tossed by pirates from the midnight deck; for hours he fell
into the deeper midnight of the insatiate maw; and his murderers still sailed
on unharmed -- while swift lightnings shivered the neighboring ship that would
have borne a righteous husband to outstretched, longing arms.  O head! thou has
seen enough to split the planets and make an infidel of Abraham, and not one
syllable is thine!"
		-- H. Melville, "Moby Dick"
 
No. 8. Quote: 
A day for firm decisions!!!!!  Or is it?
 
No. 9. Quote: 
You will be winged by an anti-aircraft battery.
 
No. 10. Quote: 
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
 
No. 11. Quote: 
Don't Worry, Be Happy.
		-- Meher Baba
 
No. 12. Quote: 
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
		-- William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer-Night's Dream"
 
No. 13. Quote: 
A day for firm decisions!!!!!  Or is it?
 
No. 14. Quote: 
A hundred years from now it is very likely that [of Twain's works] "The
Jumping Frog" alone will be remembered.
		-- Harry Thurston Peck (Editor of "The Bookman"), January 1901.
 
No. 15. Quote: 
Q:	What do little WASPs want to be when they grow up?
A:	The very best person they can possibly be.
 
No. 16. Quote: 
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 17. Quote: 
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits:
freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 18. Quote: 
The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.
		-- John Milton
 
No. 19. Quote: 
So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie;
and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head
into the shop. "What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently
married the barber; and there were present the Picninnies, and the Grand
Panjandrum himself, with the little round button at top, and they all
fell to playing the game of catch as catch can, till the gunpowder ran
out at the heels of their boots.
		-- Samuel Foote
 
No. 20. Quote: 
All I know is what the words know, and dead things, and that
makes a handsome little sum, with a beginning and a middle and
an end, as in the well-built phrase and the long sonata of the dead.
		-- Samuel Beckett
 
No. 21. Quote: 
You're growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that
you're growing into.
 
No. 22. Quote: 
No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of
absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream.
Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness
within; it had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more.
Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and
doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone
of Hill House, and whatever walked there, walked alone.
		-- Shirley Jackson, "The Haunting of Hill House"
 
No. 23. Quote: 
Q:	How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:	None:  The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
 
No. 24. Quote: 
Never reveal your best argument.