No. 0. Quote: 
For courage mounteth with occasion.
		-- William Shakespeare, "King John"
 
No. 1. Quote: 
Q:	Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A:	You do all of the work and the fat guy in the suit
	gets all the credit.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and
struggled and had lots of children.  There was a Frenchman who talked funny
and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the
crunch he was all courage.  Those novels would make you retch.
		-- Canadian novelist Robertson Davies, on the generic Canadian
		   novel.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and
struggled and had lots of children.  There was a Frenchman who talked funny
and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the
crunch he was all courage.  Those novels would make you retch.
		-- Canadian novelist Robertson Davies, on the generic Canadian
		   novel.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
You will step on the night soil of many countries.
 
No. 5. Quote: 
Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
Q:	How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A:	That's proprietary information.  Answer available from AT&T on payment
	of license fee (binary only).
 
No. 8. Quote: 
	A man was reading The Canterbury Tales one Saturday morning, when his
wife asked "What have you got there?"  Replied he, "Just my cup and Chaucer."
 
No. 9. Quote: 
There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.
 
No. 10. Quote: 
Save energy: be apathetic.
 
No. 11. Quote: 
O, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive.
		-- Sir Walter Scott, "Marmion"
 
No. 12. Quote: 
Are you sure the back door is locked?
 
No. 13. Quote: 
Think twice before speaking, but don't say "think think click click".
 
No. 14. Quote: 
You will pay for your sins.  If you have already paid, please disregard
this message.
 
No. 15. Quote: 
This was the most unkindest cut of all.
		-- William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar"
 
No. 16. Quote: 
Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever
skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious
to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an
overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic
apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless
as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a
steroid-free fitness center.
		-- Winning sentence, 1990 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
Q:	What is purple and commutes?
A:	An Abelian grape.
 
No. 18. Quote: 
Next Friday will not be your lucky day.  As a matter of fact, you don't
have a lucky day this year.
 
No. 19. Quote: 
You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.
 
No. 20. Quote: 
Noise proves nothing.  Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles
as if she laid an asteroid.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 21. Quote: 
Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not
original and the part that is original is not good.
		-- Samuel Johnson
 
No. 22. Quote: 
The better part of valor is discretion.
		-- William Shakespeare, "Henry IV"
 
No. 23. Quote: 
Q:	What's tan and black and looks great on a lawyer?
A:	A doberman.
 
No. 24. Quote: 
Q:	What lies on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A:	A nervous wreck.