No. 0. Quote: 
It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition.  There was once a man
who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that
there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 1. Quote: 
Your ignorance cramps my conversation.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
You fill a much-needed gap.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
Is that really YOU that is reading this?
 
No. 5. Quote: 
You should go home.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
You teach best what you most need to learn.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 8. Quote: 
You will be run over by a bus.
 
No. 9. Quote: 
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 10. Quote: 
There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a
rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2,
to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the
manuscript of his forthcoming book.  No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2
admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 11. Quote: 
You too can wear a nose mitten.
 
No. 12. Quote: 
You're almost as happy as you think you are.
 
No. 13. Quote: 
You can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with dirt
is concerned.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)
	-- by Charles Dickens

	A lawyer who looks like a French Nobleman is executed in his place.

The Metamorphosis LITE(tm)
	-- by Franz Kafka

	A man turns into a bug and his family gets annoyed.

Lord of the Rings LITE(tm)
	-- by J. R. R. Tolkien

	Some guys take a long vacation to throw a ring into a volcano.

Hamlet LITE(tm)
	-- by Wm. Shakespeare

	A college student on vacation with family problems, a screwy
	girl-friend and a mother who won't act her age.
 
No. 15. Quote: 
A classic is something that everyone wants to have read
and nobody wants to read.
		-- Mark Twain, "The Disappearance of Literature"
 
No. 16. Quote: 
You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 18. Quote: 
Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues
of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself
a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst
be so superfluous to demand the time of the day.  I wasted time and now doth
time waste me.
		-- William Shakespeare
 
No. 19. Quote: 
Q:	How do you save a drowning lawyer?
A:	Throw him a rock.
 
No. 20. Quote: 
Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind.  Then it passes off and I'm
as intelligent as ever.
		-- Samuel Beckett, "Endgame"
 
No. 21. Quote: 
Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.
 
No. 22. Quote: 
Good day to deal with people in high places; particularly lonely stewardesses.
 
No. 23. Quote: 
Just because the message may never be received does not mean it is
not worth sending.
 
No. 24. Quote: 
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #5
A:	The Halls of Montezuma and the Shores of Tripoli.
Q:	Name two families whose kids won't join the Marines.