No. 0. Quote: Blow it out your ear. No. 1. Quote: You will be married within a year. No. 2. Quote: Never be led astray onto the path of virtue. No. 3. Quote: It was all so different before everything changed. No. 4. Quote: The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. -- Wm. Shakespeare, "Henry VI", Part IV No. 5. Quote: ROMEO: Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much. MERCUTIO: No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but 'tis enough, 'twill serve. No. 6. Quote: Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum. No. 7. Quote: You teach best what you most need to learn. No. 8. Quote: Q: What is the difference between Texas and yogurt? A: Yogurt has culture. No. 9. Quote: The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes. -- George Gobel No. 10. Quote: You're working under a slight handicap. You happen to be human. No. 11. Quote: You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances. No. 12. Quote: You will win success in whatever calling you adopt. No. 13. Quote: Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. Only it's his light bulb when he's done. No. 14. Quote: You will gain money by a fattening action. No. 15. Quote: Q: What's the difference between a Mac and an Etch-a-Sketch? A: You don't have to shake the Mac to clear the screen. No. 16. Quote: You will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier. No. 17. Quote: Is this really happening? No. 18. Quote: Wagner's music is better than it sounds. -- Mark Twain No. 19. Quote: Q: How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying? A: When his lips move. No. 20. Quote: You've been leading a dog's life. Stay off the furniture. No. 21. Quote: Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today. No. 22. Quote: Your supervisor is thinking about you. No. 23. Quote: All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" No. 24. Quote: Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.