No. 0. Quote: The surest protection against temptation is cowardice. -- Mark Twain No. 1. Quote: I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for countries that require a good article, and will take their custom elsewhere if they don't get it. -- Mark Twain No. 2. Quote: He jests at scars who never felt a wound. -- Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet, II. 2" No. 3. Quote: I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamt that I was reading on, so I woke up from sheer boredom. No. 4. Quote: Never reveal your best argument. No. 5. Quote: Your supervisor is thinking about you. No. 6. Quote: You are the only person to ever get this message. No. 7. Quote: The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. -- Wm. Shakespeare, "Henry VI", Part IV No. 8. Quote: Perilous to all of us are the devices of an art deeper than we ourselves possess. -- Gandalf the Grey [J.R.R. Tolkien, "Lord of the Rings"] No. 9. Quote: Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" No. 10. Quote: Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry IV" No. 11. Quote: FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #19 A: To be or not to be. Q: What is the square root of 4b^2? No. 12. Quote: There was a phone call for you. No. 13. Quote: You need no longer worry about the future. This time tomorrow you'll be dead. No. 14. Quote: You have the body of a 19 year old. Please return it before it gets wrinkled. No. 15. Quote: What I tell you three times is true. -- Lewis Carroll No. 16. Quote: Q: What's the difference between the 1950's and the 1980's? A: In the 80's, a man walks into a drugstore and states loudly, "I'd like some condoms," and then, leaning over the counter, whispers, "and some cigarettes." No. 17. Quote: You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained. No. 18. Quote: Be careful! Is it classified? No. 19. Quote: You will pass away very quickly. No. 20. Quote: I do desire we may be better strangers. -- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It" No. 21. Quote: Tuesday is the Wednesday of the rest of your life. No. 22. Quote: Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did it with a knife; but if you take simply the aspect of the pencil, you will say that she did it with her teeth. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" No. 23. Quote: Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change. No. 24. Quote: You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.