No. 0. Quote: 
You'd like to do it instantaneously, but that's too slow.
 
No. 1. Quote: 
You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
Blow it out your ear.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.
 
No. 4. Quote: 
You will be married within a year, and divorced within two.
 
No. 5. Quote: 
Talkers are no good doers.
		-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"
 
No. 6. Quote: 
You will feel hungry again in another hour.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.
 
No. 8. Quote: 
He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his
argument.
		-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"
 
No. 9. Quote: 
Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.
 
No. 10. Quote: 
You're being followed.  Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.
 
No. 11. Quote: 
You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.
 
No. 12. Quote: 
Q:	What do you call the money you pay to the government when
	you ride into the country on the back of an elephant?
A:	A howdah duty.
 
No. 13. Quote: 
You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
You will be divorced within a year.
 
No. 15. Quote: 
You will gain money by a fattening action.
 
No. 16. Quote: 
You are always busy.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
Q:	What do monsters eat?
A:	Things.

Q:	What do monsters drink?
A:	Coke.  (Because Things go better with Coke.)
 
No. 18. Quote: 
"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 19. Quote: 
You'll never be the man your mother was!
 
No. 20. Quote: 
You have a strong appeal for members of your own sex.
 
No. 21. Quote: 
You're a card which will have to be dealt with.
 
No. 22. Quote: 
There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a
rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2,
to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the
manuscript of his forthcoming book.  No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2
admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 23. Quote: 
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has
only nine lives.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
 
No. 24. Quote: 
Tell the truth or trump--but get the trick.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"