No. 0. Quote: 
You'll be sorry...
 
No. 1. Quote: 
You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.
 
No. 2. Quote: 
Q:	Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man
	soup in a plate?
A:	'Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.
 
No. 3. Quote: 
I dote on his very absence.
		-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"
 
No. 4. Quote: 
Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose.
 
No. 5. Quote: 
Q:	What lies on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A:	A nervous wreck.
 
No. 6. Quote: 
A vivid and creative mind characterizes you.
 
No. 7. Quote: 
You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
 
No. 8. Quote: 
"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 9. Quote: 
You will gain money by an immoral action.
 
No. 10. Quote: 
You teach best what you most need to learn.
 
No. 11. Quote: 
Q:	How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:	Two.  One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb
	itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective
	reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a
	maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
 
No. 12. Quote: 
Q:	What do little WASPs want to be when they grow up?
A:	The very best person they can possibly be.
 
No. 13. Quote: 
You have no real enemies.
 
No. 14. Quote: 
Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.
 
No. 15. Quote: 
You will step on the night soil of many countries.
 
No. 16. Quote: 
Don't worry so loud, your roommate can't think.
 
No. 17. Quote: 
Every cloud engenders not a storm.
		-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"
 
No. 18. Quote: 
You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to.
 
No. 19. Quote: 
You fill a much-needed gap.
 
No. 20. Quote: 
Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.
		-- Shakespeare
 
No. 21. Quote: 
You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
 
No. 22. Quote: 
No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of
absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream.
Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness
within; it had stood so for eighty years and might stand for eighty more.
Within, walls continued upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm, and
doors were sensibly shut; silence lay steadily against the wood and stone
of Hill House, and whatever walked there, walked alone.
		-- Shirley Jackson, "The Haunting of Hill House"
 
No. 23. Quote: 
No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.
		-- Mark Twain
 
No. 24. Quote: 
"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
		-- Mark Twain