Fortune Quotes - 18-02-2016_120002

No. 0. Quote:
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-- "Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 1. Quote:
Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone.

No. 2. Quote:
Q: How many marketing people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'll have to get back to you on that.

No. 3. Quote:
There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a
rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2,
to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the
manuscript of his forthcoming book. No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2
admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 4. Quote:
question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;
-- Wm. Shakespeare

No. 5. Quote:
"Speak, thou vast and venerable head," muttered Ahab, "which, though
ungarnished with a beard, yet here and there lookest hoary with mosses; speak,
mighty head, and tell us the secret thing that is in thee. Of all divers,
thou has dived the deepest. That head upon which the upper sun now gleams has
moved amid the world's foundations. Where unrecorded names and navies rust,
and untold hopes and anchors rot; where in her murderous hold this frigate
earth is ballasted with bones of millions of the drowned; there, in that awful
water-land, there was thy most familiar home. Thou hast been where bell or
diver never went; has slept by many a sailer's side, where sleepless mothers
would give their lives to lay them down. Thou saw'st the locked lovers when
leaping from their flaming ship; heart to heart they sank beneath the exulting
wave; true to each other, when heaven seemed false to them. Thou saw'st the
murdered mate when tossed by pirates from the midnight deck; for hours he fell
into the deeper midnight of the insatiate maw; and his murderers still sailed
on unharmed -- while swift lightnings shivered the neighboring ship that would
have borne a righteous husband to outstretched, longing arms. O head! thou has
seen enough to split the planets and make an infidel of Abraham, and not one
syllable is thine!"
-- H. Melville, "Moby Dick"

No. 6. Quote:
So so is good, very good, very excellent good:
and yet it is not; it is but so so.
-- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"

No. 7. Quote:
You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.

No. 8. Quote:
Q: What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?
A: The same middle name.

No. 9. Quote:
Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch.

No. 10. Quote:
Q: Where's the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump!

Q: What's the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant hill?
A: Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant...

No. 11. Quote:
You need no longer worry about the future. This time tomorrow you'll be dead.

No. 12. Quote:
Alas, how love can trifle with itself!
-- William Shakespeare, "The Two Gentlemen of Verona"

No. 13. Quote:
You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive.

No. 14. Quote:
Q: Why haven't you graduated yet?
A: Well, Dad, I could have finished years ago, but I wanted
my dissertation to rhyme.

No. 15. Quote:
You can rent this space for only $5 a week.

No. 16. Quote:
You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.

No. 17. Quote:
Your society will be sought by people of taste and refinement.

No. 18. Quote:
Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.

No. 19. Quote:
Your reasoning is excellent -- it's only your basic assumptions that are wrong.

No. 20. Quote:
It's all in the mind, ya know.

No. 21. Quote:
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
-- Mark Twain

No. 22. Quote:
Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.

No. 23. Quote:
Q: Know what the difference between your latest project
and putting wings on an elephant is?
A: Who knows? The elephant *might* fly, heh, heh...

No. 24. Quote:
Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything.
Some think it is the voice of God.
-- Mark Twain