File: root - text - article - 2016 - 03 - fortune-quotes-05-03-2016_120001.txt
Tags: 名人名言, Quotes, Saying, Fortune, | English | Home Page | Category: Fortune Quotes | 521 Views, 24982 Search Bots | 592 Words
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Tags: 名人名言, Quotes, Saying, Fortune, | English | Home Page | Category: Fortune Quotes | 521 Views, 24982 Search Bots | 592 Words
| Browse | Archive
No. 0. Quote:
"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often
picturesque liar."
-- Mark Twain
No. 1. Quote:
Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide.
No. 2. Quote:
Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry IV"
No. 3. Quote:
Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to one who adores you.
No. 4. Quote:
People are beginning to notice you. Try dressing before you leave the house.
No. 5. Quote:
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A: There's a footprint in the mayo.
Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There's two footprints in the mayo.
Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: The door won't shut.
Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There's a VW Bug in your driveway.
No. 6. Quote:
Do something unusual today. Pay a bill.
No. 7. Quote:
Q: What do little WASPs want to be when they grow up?
A: The very best person they can possibly be.
No. 8. Quote:
Tomorrow will be cancelled due to lack of interest.
No. 9. Quote:
Q: How many IBM CPU's does it take to do a logical right shift?
A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.
No. 10. Quote:
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has
to really want to change.
No. 11. Quote:
I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamt that I was reading on,
so I woke up from sheer boredom.
No. 12. Quote:
Condense soup, not books!
No. 13. Quote:
Q: What does it say on the bottom of Coke cans in North Dakota?
A: Open other end.
No. 14. Quote:
You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the
Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the
parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.
-- Sherlock Holmes
No. 15. Quote:
Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change.
No. 16. Quote:
Q: How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat?
A: Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.
Q: How long does it take?
A: It's indeterminate.
It will depend upon how many flats they've brought with them.
Q: What happens if you've got TWO flats?
A: They replace your generator.
No. 17. Quote:
It was all so different before everything changed.
No. 18. Quote:
The only people for me are the mad ones -- the ones who are mad to live,
mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn
like fabulous yellow Roman candles.
-- Jack Kerouac, "On the Road"
No. 19. Quote:
Slow day. Practice crawling.
No. 20. Quote:
There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty.
"When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."
-- Mark Twain
No. 21. Quote:
It was all so different before everything changed.
No. 22. Quote:
You are going to have a new love affair.
No. 23. Quote:
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
No. 24. Quote:
Q: Why was Stonehenge abandoned?
A: It wasn't IBM compatible.
Tags: 名人名言, Quotes, Saying, Fortune, | English | Home Page | Cateogry: Fortune Quotes | 521 Views, 24982 Search Bots | 592 Words "... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often
picturesque liar."
-- Mark Twain
No. 1. Quote:
Q: Why did the germ cross the microscope?
A: To get to the other slide.
No. 2. Quote:
Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry IV"
No. 3. Quote:
Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to one who adores you.
No. 4. Quote:
People are beginning to notice you. Try dressing before you leave the house.
No. 5. Quote:
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A: Four. Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A: There's a footprint in the mayo.
Q: How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There's two footprints in the mayo.
Q: How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: The door won't shut.
Q: How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A: There's a VW Bug in your driveway.
No. 6. Quote:
Do something unusual today. Pay a bill.
No. 7. Quote:
Q: What do little WASPs want to be when they grow up?
A: The very best person they can possibly be.
No. 8. Quote:
Tomorrow will be cancelled due to lack of interest.
No. 9. Quote:
Q: How many IBM CPU's does it take to do a logical right shift?
A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.
No. 10. Quote:
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has
to really want to change.
No. 11. Quote:
I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamt that I was reading on,
so I woke up from sheer boredom.
No. 12. Quote:
Condense soup, not books!
No. 13. Quote:
Q: What does it say on the bottom of Coke cans in North Dakota?
A: Open other end.
No. 14. Quote:
You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the
Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the
parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.
-- Sherlock Holmes
No. 15. Quote:
Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change.
No. 16. Quote:
Q: How many DEC repairman does it take to fix a flat?
A: Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.
Q: How long does it take?
A: It's indeterminate.
It will depend upon how many flats they've brought with them.
Q: What happens if you've got TWO flats?
A: They replace your generator.
No. 17. Quote:
It was all so different before everything changed.
No. 18. Quote:
The only people for me are the mad ones -- the ones who are mad to live,
mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn
like fabulous yellow Roman candles.
-- Jack Kerouac, "On the Road"
No. 19. Quote:
Slow day. Practice crawling.
No. 20. Quote:
There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty.
"When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."
-- Mark Twain
No. 21. Quote:
It was all so different before everything changed.
No. 22. Quote:
You are going to have a new love affair.
No. 23. Quote:
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
No. 24. Quote:
Q: Why was Stonehenge abandoned?
A: It wasn't IBM compatible.
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