名人名言 - 26-01-2016_120001

No. 0. Quote:
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted
armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.
-- Ernest Hemingway

No. 1. Quote:
They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners
always spell better than they pronounce.
-- Mark Twain

No. 2. Quote:
Q: Are we not men?
A: We are Vaxen.

No. 3. Quote:
The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.
-- William Shakespeare, "Much Ado About Nothing"

No. 4. Quote:
You are standing on my toes.

No. 5. Quote:
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

No. 6. Quote:
You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward. Therefore you
have few friends.

No. 7. Quote:
Q: How do you keep a moron in suspense?

No. 8. Quote:
Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.

No. 9. Quote:
The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes.
-- George Gobel

No. 10. Quote:
When in doubt, tell the truth.
-- Mark Twain

No. 11. Quote:
Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession.
You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy
officials have gone by.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 12. Quote:
Every why hath a wherefore.
-- William Shakespeare, "A Comedy of Errors"

No. 13. Quote:
Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.

No. 14. Quote:
You too can wear a nose mitten.

No. 15. Quote:
You will never know hunger.

No. 16. Quote:
Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was sleek,
shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, which was as warm
as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like
bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood;
she was a woman driven -- fueled by a single accelerant -- and she needed a
man, a man who wouldn't shift from his views, a man to steer her along the
right road: a man like Alf Romeo.
-- Rachel Sheeley, winner

The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would never
see her little dog Pritzi again.
-- Claudia Fields, runner-up

It could have been an organically based disturbance of the brain -- perhaps a
tumor or a metabolic deficiency -- but after a thorough neurological exam it
was determined that Byron was simply a jerk.
-- Jeff Jahnke, runner-up

Winners in the 7th Annual Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest. The contest is
named after the author of the immortal lines: "It was a dark and stormy
night." The object of the contest is to write the opening sentence of the
worst possible novel.

No. 17. Quote:
Tuesday After Lunch is the cosmic time of the week.

No. 18. Quote:
Every cloud engenders not a storm.
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"

No. 19. Quote:
The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference
between a mermaid and a seal.
-- Mark Twain

No. 20. Quote:
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has
to really want to change.

No. 21. Quote:
Q: Where's the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump!

Q: What's the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant hill?
A: Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant...

No. 22. Quote:
Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)
-- by Margaret Mitchell

A woman only likes men she can't have and the South gets trashed.

Gift of the Magi LITE(tm)
-- by O. Henry

A husband and wife forget to register their gift preferences.

The Old Man and the Sea LITE(tm)
-- by Ernest Hemingway

An old man goes fishing, but doesn't have much luck.

No. 23. Quote:
You love peace.

No. 24. Quote:
A visit to a fresh place will bring strange work.