Fortune Quotes - 06-02-2016_120001

No. 0. Quote:
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
-- Mark Twain

No. 1. Quote:
Be careful! Is it classified?

No. 2. Quote:
You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.

No. 3. Quote:
You have been selected for a secret mission.

No. 4. Quote:
It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best
judge of one.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 5. Quote:
No violence, gentlemen -- no violence, I beg of you! Consider the furniture!
-- Sherlock Holmes

No. 6. Quote:
"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."
-- Shakespeare

No. 7. Quote:
Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

No. 8. Quote:
You will never know hunger.

No. 9. Quote:
You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.

No. 10. Quote:
Cold hands, no gloves.

No. 11. Quote:
You will live to see your grandchildren.

No. 12. Quote:
Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at
fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take
the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will
find she did it with a knife; but if you take simply the aspect of the pencil,
you will say that she did it with her teeth.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 13. Quote:
Having nothing, nothing can he lose.
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"

No. 14. Quote:
Reply hazy, ask again later.

No. 15. Quote:
Q: Know what the difference between your latest project
and putting wings on an elephant is?
A: Who knows? The elephant *might* fly, heh, heh...

No. 16. Quote:
Q: What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?
A: A canary with the super-user password.

No. 17. Quote:
Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

No. 18. Quote:
Do not overtax your powers.

No. 19. Quote:
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.

No. 20. Quote:
Conscience doth make cowards of us all.
-- Shakespeare

No. 21. Quote:
Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. We'll fix it in software.

Q: How many system programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The application can work around it.

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. We'll document it in the manual.

Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The user can figure it out.

No. 22. Quote:
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the
difference between lightning and the lightning bug.
-- Mark Twain

No. 23. Quote:
If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.

No. 24. Quote:
You may my glories and my state dispose,
But not my griefs; still am I king of those.
-- William Shakespeare, "Richard II"