1 - Fortune Quotes - 01-07-2016_120002 - fortune-quotes-01-07-2016_120002.txt

No. 0. Quote:
People are beginning to notice you. Try dressing before you leave the house.

No. 1. Quote:
Q: What happens when four WASPs find themselves in the same room?
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2 - Fortune Quotes - 01-06-2016_120003 - fortune-quotes-01-06-2016_120003.txt

No. 0. Quote:
You'll be sorry...

No. 1. Quote:
You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.
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3 - Fortune Quotes - 01-05-2016_120002 - fortune-quotes-01-05-2016_120002.txt

No. 0. Quote:
English literature's performing flea.
-- Sean O'Casey on P. G. Wodehouse

No. 1. Quote:
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4 - Fortune Quotes - 01-04-2016_120003 - fortune-quotes-01-04-2016_120003.txt

No. 0. Quote:
You'd like to do it instantaneously, but that's too slow.

No. 1. Quote:
You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause.
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5 - Fortune Quotes - 28-03-2016_120002 - fortune-quotes-28-03-2016_120002.txt

No. 0. Quote:
Q: What do they call the alphabet in Arkansas?
A: The impossible dream.

No. 1. Quote:
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6 - Fortune Quotes - 27-03-2016_120001 - fortune-quotes-27-03-2016_120001.txt

No. 0. Quote:
The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.
-- Mark Twain

No. 1. Quote:
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7 - Fortune Quotes - 26-03-2016_120002 - fortune-quotes-26-03-2016_120002.txt

No. 0. Quote:
Blow it out your ear.

No. 1. Quote:
You will be married within a year.
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8 - Fortune Quotes - 25-03-2016_120001 - fortune-quotes-25-03-2016_120001.txt

No. 0. Quote:
While you recently had your problems on the run, they've regrouped and
are making another attack.

No. 1. Quote:
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9 - Fortune Quotes - 24-03-2016_120002 - fortune-quotes-24-03-2016_120002.txt

No. 0. Quote:
It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man
who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that
there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
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10 - Fortune Quotes - 23-03-2016_120002 - fortune-quotes-23-03-2016_120002.txt

No. 0. Quote:
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the
party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith
agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed
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11 - Fortune Quotes - 22-03-2016_120002 - fortune-quotes-22-03-2016_120002.txt

No. 0. Quote:
Patch griefs with proverbs.
-- William Shakespeare, "Much Ado About Nothing"

No. 1. Quote:
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12 - Fortune Quotes - 21-03-2016_120002 - fortune-quotes-21-03-2016_120002.txt

No. 0. Quote:
You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.

No. 1. Quote:
Day of inquiry. You will be subpoenaed.
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13 - Fortune Quotes - 20-03-2016_120001 - fortune-quotes-20-03-2016_120001.txt

No. 0. Quote:
Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things
than someone who hasn't.
-- Mark Twain

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14 - Fortune Quotes - 19-03-2016_120002 - fortune-quotes-19-03-2016_120002.txt

No. 0. Quote:
You work very hard. Don't try to think as well.

No. 1. Quote:
Q: What is green and lives in the ocean?
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15 - Fortune Quotes - 18-03-2016_120001 - fortune-quotes-18-03-2016_120001.txt

No. 0. Quote:
Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. We'll fix it in software.

Q: How many system programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
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16 - Fortune Quotes - 17-03-2016_120001 - fortune-quotes-17-03-2016_120001.txt

No. 0. Quote:
For courage mounteth with occasion.
-- William Shakespeare, "King John"

No. 1. Quote:
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