Fortune Quotes - 01-04-2016_120003

No. 0. Quote:
You'd like to do it instantaneously, but that's too slow.

No. 1. Quote:
You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause.

No. 2. Quote:
Blow it out your ear.

No. 3. Quote:
You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.

No. 4. Quote:
You will be married within a year, and divorced within two.

No. 5. Quote:
Talkers are no good doers.
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"

No. 6. Quote:
You will feel hungry again in another hour.

No. 7. Quote:
You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.

No. 8. Quote:
He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his
argument.
-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"

No. 9. Quote:
Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply.

No. 10. Quote:
You're being followed. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.

No. 11. Quote:
You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.

No. 12. Quote:
Q: What do you call the money you pay to the government when
you ride into the country on the back of an elephant?
A: A howdah duty.

No. 13. Quote:
You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life.

No. 14. Quote:
You will be divorced within a year.

No. 15. Quote:
You will gain money by a fattening action.

No. 16. Quote:
You are always busy.

No. 17. Quote:
Q: What do monsters eat?
A: Things.

Q: What do monsters drink?
A: Coke. (Because Things go better with Coke.)

No. 18. Quote:
"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
-- Mark Twain

No. 19. Quote:
You'll never be the man your mother was!

No. 20. Quote:
You have a strong appeal for members of your own sex.

No. 21. Quote:
You're a card which will have to be dealt with.

No. 22. Quote:
There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a
rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2,
to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the
manuscript of his forthcoming book. No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2
admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 23. Quote:
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has
only nine lives.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 24. Quote:
Tell the truth or trump--but get the trick.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"