名人名言 - 24-02-2016_120001

No. 0. Quote:
You will be successful in love.

No. 1. Quote:
Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was sleek,
shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, which was as warm
as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like
bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood;
she was a woman driven -- fueled by a single accelerant -- and she needed a
man, a man who wouldn't shift from his views, a man to steer her along the
right road: a man like Alf Romeo.
-- Rachel Sheeley, winner

The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would never
see her little dog Pritzi again.
-- Claudia Fields, runner-up

It could have been an organically based disturbance of the brain -- perhaps a
tumor or a metabolic deficiency -- but after a thorough neurological exam it
was determined that Byron was simply a jerk.
-- Jeff Jahnke, runner-up

Winners in the 7th Annual Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest. The contest is
named after the author of the immortal lines: "It was a dark and stormy
night." The object of the contest is to write the opening sentence of the
worst possible novel.

No. 2. Quote:
Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't
understand his own meaning.
-- George D. Prentice

No. 3. Quote:
Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.

No. 4. Quote:
You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.

No. 5. Quote:
Your fly might be open (but don't check it just now).

No. 6. Quote:
But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.
-- William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar"

No. 7. Quote:
Q: Why did the WASP cross the road?
A: To get to the middle.

No. 8. Quote:
Your step will soil many countries.

No. 9. Quote:
It is right that he too should have his little chronicle, his memories,
his reason, and be able to recognize the good in the bad, the bad in the
worst, and so grow gently old all down the unchanging days and die one
day like any other day, only shorter.
-- Samuel Beckett, "Malone Dies"

No. 10. Quote:
Q: Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
A: To conform with departmental regulations concerning uniform dress.

No. 11. Quote:
If you sow your wild oats, hope for a crop failure.

No. 12. Quote:
You're definitely on their list. The question to ask next is what list it is.

No. 13. Quote:
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-- Mark Twain

No. 14. Quote:
Conscience doth make cowards of us all.
-- Shakespeare

No. 15. Quote:
A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!
-- Wm. Shakespeare, "Richard III"

No. 16. Quote:
Every why hath a wherefore.
-- William Shakespeare, "A Comedy of Errors"

No. 17. Quote:
Your reasoning is excellent -- it's only your basic assumptions that are wrong.

No. 18. Quote:
You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.

No. 19. Quote:
Q: What's tan and black and looks great on a lawyer?
A: A doberman.

No. 20. Quote:
Tomorrow, you can be anywhere.

No. 21. Quote:
Your love life will be happy and harmonious.

No. 22. Quote:
Tonight's the night: Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.

No. 23. Quote:
You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon.

No. 24. Quote:
You own a dog, but you can only feed a cat.