Fortune Quotes - 18-01-2016_120002

No. 0. Quote:
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a
week sometimes to make it up.
-- Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad"

No. 1. Quote:
Never look up when dragons fly overhead.

No. 2. Quote:
The Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest is held ever year at San Jose State
Univ. by Professor Scott Rice. It is held in memory of Edward George
Earle Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873), a rather prolific and popular (in his
time) novelist. He is best known today for having written "The Last
Days of Pompeii."

Whenever Snoopy starts typing his novel from the top of his doghouse,
beginning "It was a dark and stormy night..." he is borrowing from Lord
Bulwer-Lytton. This was the line that opened his novel, "Paul Clifford,"
written in 1830. The full line reveals why it is so bad:

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents -- except
at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of
wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene
lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty
flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

No. 3. Quote:
You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare Thyself.

No. 4. Quote:
Q: Why do people who live near Niagara Falls have flat foreheads?
A: Because every morning they wake up thinking "What *is* that noise?
Oh, right, *of course*!

No. 5. Quote:
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
-- Mark Twain

No. 6. Quote:
The Public is merely a multiplied "me."
-- Mark Twain

No. 7. Quote:
Stay away from hurricanes for a while.

No. 8. Quote:
Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.

No. 9. Quote:
You're at the end of the road again.

No. 10. Quote:
When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.
-- Roger Zelazny, "Doorways in the Sand"

No. 11. Quote:
You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon.

No. 12. Quote:
You will be given a post of trust and responsibility.

No. 13. Quote:
Many pages make a thick book, except for pocket Bibles which are on very
very thin paper.

No. 14. Quote:
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out
of the way.

No. 15. Quote:
Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.

No. 16. Quote:
You are magnetic in your bearing.

No. 17. Quote:
Someone is speaking well of you.

No. 18. Quote:
You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.

No. 19. Quote:
Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".
-- Shakespeare

No. 20. Quote:
For courage mounteth with occasion.
-- William Shakespeare, "King John"

No. 21. Quote:
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be
sorry.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 22. Quote:
Excellent day to have a rotten day.

No. 23. Quote:
Fine day for friends.
So-so day for you.

No. 24. Quote:
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time
to reform.
-- Mark Twain