名人名言 - 25-03-2016_120001

No. 0. Quote:
While you recently had your problems on the run, they've regrouped and
are making another attack.

No. 1. Quote:
Your goose is cooked.
(Your current chick is burned up too!)

No. 2. Quote:
You're a card which will have to be dealt with.

No. 3. Quote:
Truth will out this morning. (Which may really mess things up.)

No. 4. Quote:
Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.

No. 5. Quote:
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
-- William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer-Night's Dream"

No. 6. Quote:
Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assure everyone that everything possible is being
done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

No. 7. Quote:
Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.

No. 8. Quote:
You are number 6! Who is number one?

No. 9. Quote:
What no spouse of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working
when he's staring out the window.

No. 10. Quote:
Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug
than an old bird of paradise.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 11. Quote:
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
-- Wm. Shakespeare, "Henry VI", Part IV

No. 12. Quote:
Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was sleek,
shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, which was as warm
as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like
bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood;
she was a woman driven -- fueled by a single accelerant -- and she needed a
man, a man who wouldn't shift from his views, a man to steer her along the
right road: a man like Alf Romeo.
-- Rachel Sheeley, winner

The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would never
see her little dog Pritzi again.
-- Claudia Fields, runner-up

It could have been an organically based disturbance of the brain -- perhaps a
tumor or a metabolic deficiency -- but after a thorough neurological exam it
was determined that Byron was simply a jerk.
-- Jeff Jahnke, runner-up

Winners in the 7th Annual Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest. The contest is
named after the author of the immortal lines: "It was a dark and stormy
night." The object of the contest is to write the opening sentence of the
worst possible novel.

No. 13. Quote:
Chess tonight.

No. 14. Quote:
We know all about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the
bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems
almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the
oyster.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 15. Quote:
"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What
is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark
squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the
little colored balls of cereal so as to see the bottom, and nearly spilling
them onto the table top. "Here it is!" He hauled out a little cream-colored,
glitter-sprinkled squid, three-inches long and made out of rubbery plastic.
-- James P. Blaylock, "The Last Coin"

No. 16. Quote:
Condense soup, not books!

No. 17. Quote:
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #13
A: Doc, Happy, Bashful, Dopey, Sneezy, Sleepy, & Grumpy
Q: Who were the Democratic presidential candidates?

No. 18. Quote:
Hope that the day after you die is a nice day.

No. 19. Quote:
Never laugh at live dragons.
-- Bilbo Baggins [J.R.R. Tolkien, "The Hobbit"]

No. 20. Quote:
You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.

No. 21. Quote:
Are you sure the back door is locked?

No. 22. Quote:
I do desire we may be better strangers.
-- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"

No. 23. Quote:
This life is yours. Some of it was given to you; the rest, you made yourself.

No. 24. Quote:
You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously.