名人名言 - 28-03-2016_120002

No. 0. Quote:
Q: What do they call the alphabet in Arkansas?
A: The impossible dream.

No. 1. Quote:
Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted;
persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting
to find a plot in it will be shot. By Order of the Author
-- Mark Twain, "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn"

No. 2. Quote:
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but
the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they
have obtained from books of travel.
-- Mark Twain

No. 3. Quote:
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on it!

Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: The tame way!

No. 4. Quote:
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

No. 5. Quote:
Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways.

No. 6. Quote:
Fine day for friends.
So-so day for you.

No. 7. Quote:
Tonight you will pay the wages of sin; Don't forget to leave a tip.

No. 8. Quote:
Q: Why don't Scotsmen ever have coffee the way they like it?
A: Well, they like it with two lumps of sugar. If they drink
it at home, they only take one, and if they drink it while
visiting, they always take three.

No. 9. Quote:
Your boyfriend takes chocolate from strangers.

No. 10. Quote:
It is so very hard to be an
on-your-own-take-care-of-yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you
grown-up.

No. 11. Quote:
For a light heart lives long.
-- Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"

No. 12. Quote:
Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring
light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot
to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for
reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb-assassin to break
the bulb in the first place.

No. 13. Quote:
Accent on helpful side of your nature. Drain the moat.

No. 14. Quote:
Every why hath a wherefore.
-- William Shakespeare, "A Comedy of Errors"

No. 15. Quote:
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is
in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot
stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that
is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more.
-- Mark Twain

No. 16. Quote:
You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.

No. 17. Quote:
You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.

No. 18. Quote:
An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future.

No. 19. Quote:
You will live a long, healthy, happy life and make bags of money.

No. 20. Quote:
Is this really happening?

No. 21. Quote:
Well, anyway, I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized
that like most books, it had too many words. The plot was the same one that
all James Bond books have: An evil person tries to blow up the world, but
James Bond kills him and his henchmen and makes love to several attractive
women. There, that's it: 24 words. But the guy who wrote the book took
*thousands* of words to say it.
Or consider "The Brothers Karamazov", by the famous Russian alcoholic
Fyodor Dostoyevsky. It's about these two brothers who kill their father.
Or maybe only one of them kills the father. It's impossible to tell because
what they mostly do is talk for nearly a thousand pages. If all Russians talk
as much as the Karamazovs did, I don't see how they found time to become a
major world power.
I'm told that Dostoyevsky wrote "The Brothers Karamazov" to raise
the question of whether there is a God. So why didn't he just come right
out and say: "Is there a God? It sure beats the heck out of me."
Other famous works could easily have been summarized in a few words:

* "Moby Dick" -- Don't mess around with large whales because they symbolize
nature and will kill you.
* "A Tale of Two Cities" -- French people are crazy.
-- Dave Barry

No. 22. Quote:
Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.

No. 23. Quote:
Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout.

No. 24. Quote:
Accent on helpful side of your nature. Drain the moat.