名人名言 - 04-01-2016_120002

No. 0. Quote:
Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.
-- Wm. Shakespeare

No. 1. Quote:
Q: What do you call a WASP who doesn't work for his father, isn't a
lawyer, and believes in social causes?
A: A failure.

No. 2. Quote:
Q: Why haven't you graduated yet?
A: Well, Dad, I could have finished years ago, but I wanted
my dissertation to rhyme.

No. 3. Quote:
Your boss is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

No. 4. Quote:
Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.

No. 5. Quote:
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
-- Mark Twain

No. 6. Quote:
You are standing on my toes.

No. 7. Quote:
Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.
-- Mark Twain

No. 8. Quote:
The Priest's grey nimbus in a niche where he dressed discreetly.
I will not sleep here tonight. Home also I cannot go.
A voice, sweetened and sustained, called to him from the sea.
Turning the curve he waved his hand. A sleek brown head, a seal's, far
out on the water, round. Usurper.
-- James Joyce, "Ulysses"

No. 9. Quote:
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must
have somebody to divide it with.
-- Mark Twain

No. 10. Quote:
Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One.

No. 11. Quote:
You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears.

No. 12. Quote:
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last
you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his
Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
-- Mark Twain "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court"

No. 13. Quote:
You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.

No. 14. Quote:
Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.

No. 15. Quote:
You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to.

No. 16. Quote:
Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.

No. 17. Quote:
Things past redress and now with me past care.
-- William Shakespeare, "Richard II"

No. 18. Quote:
And do you think (fop that I am) that I could be the Scarlet Pumpernickel?

No. 19. Quote:
Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.
-- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"

No. 20. Quote:
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #19
A: To be or not to be.
Q: What is the square root of 4b^2?

No. 21. Quote:
AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE!
FEAR! FIRE! FOES!
AWAKE! AWAKE!
-- J. R. R. Tolkien

No. 22. Quote:
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what
you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
-- Mark Twain

No. 23. Quote:
October.

This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in.

The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June,
December, August, and February.

-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 24. Quote:
You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.