名人名言 - 01-05-2016_120002

No. 0. Quote:
English literature's performing flea.
-- Sean O'Casey on P. G. Wodehouse

No. 1. Quote:
So this is it. We're going to die.

No. 2. Quote:
Good day for a change of scene. Repaper the bedroom wall.

No. 3. Quote:
You're currently going through a difficult transition period called "Life."

No. 4. Quote:
You single-handedly fought your way into this hopeless mess.

No. 5. Quote:
Q: Why did the WASP cross the road?
A: To get to the middle.

No. 6. Quote:
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
-- Mark Twain

No. 7. Quote:
Q: Why did Menachem Begin invade Lebanon?
A: To impress Jodie Foster.

No. 8. Quote:
Someone is speaking well of you.

How unusual!

No. 9. Quote:
Avoid gunfire in the bathroom tonight.

No. 10. Quote:
If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.

No. 11. Quote:
Good day to deal with people in high places; particularly lonely stewardesses.

No. 12. Quote:
You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.

No. 13. Quote:
You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.

No. 14. Quote:
Q: How many IBM 370's does it take to execute a job?
A: Four, three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.

No. 15. Quote:
This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a
little ironic since we may not have one.
-- Arthur Clarke

No. 16. Quote:
You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty
attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool
takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge
which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with
a lot of other things, so that he has difficulty in laying his hands upon it.
Now the skilful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his
brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing
his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect
order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and
can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every
addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of
the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out
the useful ones.
-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "A Study in Scarlet"

No. 17. Quote:
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
-- Mark Twain

No. 18. Quote:
Q: What do you call a blind pre-historic animal?
A: Diyathinkhesaurus.

Q: What do you call a blind pre-historic animal with a dog?
A: Diyathinkhesaurus Rex.

No. 19. Quote:
Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues
of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself
a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst
be so superfluous to demand the time of the day. I wasted time and now doth
time waste me.
-- William Shakespeare

No. 20. Quote:
You are number 6! Who is number one?

No. 21. Quote:
Don't worry. Life's too long.
-- Vincent Sardi, Jr.

No. 22. Quote:
There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.

No. 23. Quote:
Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.
-- Shakespeare

No. 24. Quote:
If you can read this, you're too close.