名人名言 - 24-03-2016_120002

No. 0. Quote:
It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man
who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that
there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 1. Quote:
Your ignorance cramps my conversation.

No. 2. Quote:
You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.

No. 3. Quote:
You fill a much-needed gap.

No. 4. Quote:
Is that really YOU that is reading this?

No. 5. Quote:
You should go home.

No. 6. Quote:
You teach best what you most need to learn.

No. 7. Quote:
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
-- Mark Twain

No. 8. Quote:
You will be run over by a bus.

No. 9. Quote:
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
-- Mark Twain

No. 10. Quote:
There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a
rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2,
to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the
manuscript of his forthcoming book. No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2
admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 11. Quote:
You too can wear a nose mitten.

No. 12. Quote:
You're almost as happy as you think you are.

No. 13. Quote:
You can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with dirt
is concerned.

No. 14. Quote:
A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)
-- by Charles Dickens

A lawyer who looks like a French Nobleman is executed in his place.

The Metamorphosis LITE(tm)
-- by Franz Kafka

A man turns into a bug and his family gets annoyed.

Lord of the Rings LITE(tm)
-- by J. R. R. Tolkien

Some guys take a long vacation to throw a ring into a volcano.

Hamlet LITE(tm)
-- by Wm. Shakespeare

A college student on vacation with family problems, a screwy
girl-friend and a mother who won't act her age.

No. 15. Quote:
A classic is something that everyone wants to have read
and nobody wants to read.
-- Mark Twain, "The Disappearance of Literature"

No. 16. Quote:
You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.

No. 17. Quote:
The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.
-- Mark Twain

No. 18. Quote:
Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues
of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself
a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst
be so superfluous to demand the time of the day. I wasted time and now doth
time waste me.
-- William Shakespeare

No. 19. Quote:
Q: How do you save a drowning lawyer?
A: Throw him a rock.

No. 20. Quote:
Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm
as intelligent as ever.
-- Samuel Beckett, "Endgame"

No. 21. Quote:
Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.

No. 22. Quote:
Good day to deal with people in high places; particularly lonely stewardesses.

No. 23. Quote:
Just because the message may never be received does not mean it is
not worth sending.

No. 24. Quote:
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #5
A: The Halls of Montezuma and the Shores of Tripoli.
Q: Name two families whose kids won't join the Marines.