Fortune Quotes - 02-01-2016_025449

No. 0. Quote:
Your love life will be happy and harmonious.

No. 1. Quote:
Your lover will never wish to leave you.

No. 2. Quote:
Hell is empty and all the devils are here.
-- Wm. Shakespeare, "The Tempest"

No. 3. Quote:
Q: "What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic
existentialist?"
A: "Is there a dog?"

No. 4. Quote:
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a
week sometimes to make it up.
-- Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad"

No. 5. Quote:
Change your thoughts and you change your world.

No. 6. Quote:
You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates.

No. 7. Quote:
Go to a movie tonight. Darkness becomes you.

No. 8. Quote:
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

No. 9. Quote:
Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.

No. 10. Quote:
Be different: conform.

No. 11. Quote:
You're a card which will have to be dealt with.

No. 12. Quote:
People are beginning to notice you. Try dressing before you leave the house.

No. 13. Quote:
This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.

No. 14. Quote:
Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. We'll fix it in software.

Q: How many system programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The application can work around it.

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. We'll document it in the manual.

Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The user can figure it out.

No. 15. Quote:
Q: Are we not men?
A: We are Vaxen.

No. 16. Quote:
You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.

No. 17. Quote:
Q: What do you call a principal female opera singer whose high C
is lower than those of other principal female opera singers?
A: A deep C diva.

No. 18. Quote:
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #21
A: Dr. Livingston I. Presume.
Q: What's Dr. Presume's full name?

No. 19. Quote:
Try to have as good a life as you can under the circumstances.

No. 20. Quote:
Q: How does a hacker fix a function which
doesn't work for all of the elements in its domain?
A: He changes the domain.

No. 21. Quote:
It is so very hard to be an
on-your-own-take-care-of-yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you
grown-up.

No. 22. Quote:
You have a truly strong individuality.

No. 23. Quote:
A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.
-- Philip Larkin on Anthony Burgess

No. 24. Quote:
Bridge ahead. Pay troll.