Fortune Quotes - 11-01-2016_120001

No. 0. Quote:
Well, anyway, I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized
that like most books, it had too many words. The plot was the same one that
all James Bond books have: An evil person tries to blow up the world, but
James Bond kills him and his henchmen and makes love to several attractive
women. There, that's it: 24 words. But the guy who wrote the book took
*thousands* of words to say it.
Or consider "The Brothers Karamazov", by the famous Russian alcoholic
Fyodor Dostoyevsky. It's about these two brothers who kill their father.
Or maybe only one of them kills the father. It's impossible to tell because
what they mostly do is talk for nearly a thousand pages. If all Russians talk
as much as the Karamazovs did, I don't see how they found time to become a
major world power.
I'm told that Dostoyevsky wrote "The Brothers Karamazov" to raise
the question of whether there is a God. So why didn't he just come right
out and say: "Is there a God? It sure beats the heck out of me."
Other famous works could easily have been summarized in a few words:

* "Moby Dick" -- Don't mess around with large whales because they symbolize
nature and will kill you.
* "A Tale of Two Cities" -- French people are crazy.
-- Dave Barry

No. 1. Quote:
He that is giddy thinks the world turns round.
-- William Shakespeare, "The Taming of the Shrew"

No. 2. Quote:
Q: Why did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers?
A: Because he was hungry.

No. 3. Quote:
You'll never see all the places, or read all the books, but fortunately,
they're not all recommended.

No. 4. Quote:
There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.
-- Joan Didion, "Slouching Towards Bethlehem"

No. 5. Quote:
For a light heart lives long.
-- Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"

No. 6. Quote:
Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big
enough majority in any town?
-- Mark Twain, "Huckleberry Finn"

No. 7. Quote:
Q: How do you keep a moron in suspense?

No. 8. Quote:
Q: What is purple and conquered the world?
A: Alexander the Grape.

No. 9. Quote:
Q: What is the difference between a duck?
A: One leg is both the same.

No. 10. Quote:
Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain

No. 11. Quote:
You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears.

No. 12. Quote:
Better hope the life-inspector doesn't come around while you have your
life in such a mess.

No. 13. Quote:
Q: What's yellow, and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?
A: Zorn's Lemon.

No. 14. Quote:
You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.

No. 15. Quote:
Is that really YOU that is reading this?

No. 16. Quote:
Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.

No. 17. Quote:
Q: What do you call a half-dozen Indians with Asian flu?
A: Six sick Sikhs (sic).

No. 18. Quote:
You may be infinitely smaller than some things, but you're infinitely
larger than others.

No. 19. Quote:
Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at the blank sheet of paper until
drops of blood form on your forehead.
-- Gene Fowler

No. 20. Quote:
There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.
-- Joan Didion, "Slouching Towards Bethlehem"

No. 21. Quote:
Every cloud engenders not a storm.
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"

No. 22. Quote:
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To see his friend Gregory peck.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

No. 23. Quote:
You have a truly strong individuality.

No. 24. Quote:
For years a secret shame destroyed my peace--
I'd not read Eliot, Auden or MacNiece.
But now I think a thought that brings me hope:
Neither had Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope.
-- Justin Richardson.