Fortune Quotes - 20-01-2016_120002

No. 0. Quote:
Q: Why do WASPs play golf ?
A: So they can dress like pimps.

No. 1. Quote:
Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.

No. 2. Quote:
You are standing on my toes.

No. 3. Quote:
You are capable of planning your future.

No. 4. Quote:
Excellent day to have a rotten day.

No. 5. Quote:
Be cautious in your daily affairs.

No. 6. Quote:
You are as I am with You.

No. 7. Quote:
If you can read this, you're too close.

No. 8. Quote:
Your present plans will be successful.

No. 9. Quote:
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Sam and Janet.
Sam and Janet who?
Sam and Janet Evening...

No. 10. Quote:
Give thought to your reputation. Consider changing name and moving to
a new town.

No. 11. Quote:
Your business will go through a period of considerable expansion.

No. 12. Quote:
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out
of the way.

No. 13. Quote:
My dear People.
My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks,
and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers,
Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good
Sackville Bagginses that I welcome back at last to Bag End. Today is my
one hundred and eleventh birthday: I am eleventy-one today!"
-- J. R. R. Tolkien

No. 14. Quote:
You are magnetic in your bearing.

No. 15. Quote:
Q: How was Thomas J. Watson buried?
A: 9 edge down.

No. 16. Quote:
You may worry about your hair-do today, but tomorrow much peanut butter will
be sold.

No. 17. Quote:
Truth will out this morning. (Which may really mess things up.)

No. 18. Quote:
The Least Successful Collector
Betsy Baker played a central role in the history of collecting. She
was employed as a servant in the house of John Warburton (1682-1759) who had
amassed a fine collection of 58 first edition plays, including most of the
works of Shakespeare.
One day Warburton returned home to find 55 of them charred beyond
legibility. Betsy had either burned them or used them as pie bottoms. The
remaining three folios are now in the British Museum.
The only comparable literary figure was the maid who in 1835 burned
the manuscript of the first volume of Thomas Carlyle's "The Hisory of the
French Revolution", thinking it was wastepaper.
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"

No. 19. Quote:
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 20. Quote:
The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that
will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
-- Mark Twain

No. 21. Quote:
Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm
as intelligent as ever.
-- Samuel Beckett, "Endgame"

No. 22. Quote:
You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite.

No. 23. Quote:
You will be recognized and honored as a community leader.

No. 24. Quote:
Many pages make a thick book.