Fortune Quotes - 03-02-2016_120002

No. 0. Quote:
Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder.

No. 1. Quote:
I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamt that I was reading on,
so I woke up from sheer boredom.

No. 2. Quote:
You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.

No. 3. Quote:
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
-- William Shakespeare, "A Midsummer-Night's Dream"

No. 4. Quote:
Q: What's buried in Grant's tomb?
A: A corpse.

No. 5. Quote:
Q: Why do WASPs play golf ?
A: So they can dress like pimps.

No. 6. Quote:
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted
armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.
-- Ernest Hemingway

No. 7. Quote:
A is for Apple.
-- Hester Pryne

No. 8. Quote:
Your supervisor is thinking about you.

No. 9. Quote:
You own a dog, but you can only feed a cat.

No. 10. Quote:
"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
-- Mark Twain

No. 11. Quote:
I think we are in Rats' Alley where the dead men lost their bones.
-- T.S. Eliot

No. 12. Quote:
Q: What's tan and black and looks great on a lawyer?
A: A doberman.

No. 13. Quote:
"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."
-- Shakespeare

No. 14. Quote:
"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."
-- Shakespeare

No. 15. Quote:
If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.

No. 16. Quote:
For there are moments when one can neither think nor feel. And if one can
neither think nor feel, she thought, where is one?
-- Virginia Woolf, "To the Lighthouse"

[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
referring to powerfail recovery.]

No. 17. Quote:
You've been leading a dog's life. Stay off the furniture.

No. 18. Quote:
Q: What's a WASP's idea of open-mindedness?
A: Dating a Canadian.

No. 19. Quote:
While you recently had your problems on the run, they've regrouped and
are making another attack.

No. 20. Quote:
Don't get to bragging.

No. 21. Quote:
You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.

No. 22. Quote:
Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all of the work and the fat guy in the suit
gets all the credit.

No. 23. Quote:
Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

No. 24. Quote:
Every cloud engenders not a storm.
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"