Fortune Quotes - 05-02-2016_120002

No. 0. Quote:
The notes blatted skyward as they rose over the Canada geese, feathered
rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen
bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim,
'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and at last I knew Pittsburgh.
-- Winning sentence, 1987 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.

No. 1. Quote:
You're growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that
you're growing into.

No. 2. Quote:
Q: How many college football players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he gets three credits for it.

No. 3. Quote:
You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night
to write.
-- Saul Bellow

No. 4. Quote:
Advancement in position.

No. 5. Quote:
So so is good, very good, very excellent good:
and yet it is not; it is but so so.
-- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"

No. 6. Quote:
You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.

No. 7. Quote:
Q: What is the sound of one cat napping?
A: Mu.

No. 8. Quote:
If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use
in reading it at all.
-- Oscar Wilde

No. 9. Quote:
It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best
judge of one.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 10. Quote:
You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.

No. 11. Quote:
You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.

No. 12. Quote:
Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain

No. 13. Quote:
A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon.

Buy the negatives at any price.

No. 14. Quote:
Your fly might be open (but don't check it just now).

No. 15. Quote:
Give your very best today. Heaven knows it's little enough.

No. 16. Quote:
So so is good, very good, very excellent good:
and yet it is not; it is but so so.
-- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"

No. 17. Quote:
Are you a turtle?

No. 18. Quote:
You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the
obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and
an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.
-- Sherlock Holmes, "The Norwood Builder"

No. 19. Quote:
Q: Where's the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump!

Q: What's the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant hill?
A: Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant...

No. 20. Quote:
Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch.

No. 21. Quote:
Q: What do you call a blind, deaf-mute, quadraplegic Virginian?
A: Trustworthy.

No. 22. Quote:
You will be winged by an anti-aircraft battery.

No. 23. Quote:
It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely
the most important.
-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "A Case of Identity"

No. 24. Quote:
Q: Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
A: The cats keep trying to bury them.