Fortune Quotes - 16-03-2016_120003

No. 0. Quote:
Q: Minnesotans ask, "Why aren't there more pharmacists from Alabama?"
A: Easy. It's because they can't figure out how to get the little
bottles into the typewriter.

No. 1. Quote:
You get along very well with everyone except animals and people.

No. 2. Quote:
Q: What lies on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.

No. 3. Quote:
The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference
between a mermaid and a seal.
-- Mark Twain

No. 4. Quote:
Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum.

No. 5. Quote:
Q: Why did the lone ranger kill Tonto?
A: He found out what "kimosabe" really means.

No. 6. Quote:
You will reach the highest possible point in your business or profession.

No. 7. Quote:
I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness;
And from that full meridian of my glory
I haste now to my setting. I shall fall,
Like a bright exhalation in the evening
And no man see me more.
-- Shakespeare

No. 8. Quote:
O, it is excellent
To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous
To use it like a giant.
-- Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure", II, 2

No. 9. Quote:
Tomorrow, you can be anywhere.

No. 10. Quote:
You have been selected for a secret mission.

No. 11. Quote:
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: He was giving it last rites.

No. 12. Quote:
Best of all is never to have been born. Second best is to die soon.

No. 13. Quote:
Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of new developments.

No. 14. Quote:
Stay away from flying saucers today.

No. 15. Quote:
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #4
A: Go west, young man, go west!
Q: What do wabbits do when they get tiwed of wunning awound?

No. 16. Quote:
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
A: "The elephants are coming over the hill."

Q: What did he say when saw them coming over the hill wearing
sunglasses?
A: Nothing, for he didn't recognize them.

No. 17. Quote:
You may get an opportunity for advancement today. Watch it!

No. 18. Quote:
Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose.

No. 19. Quote:
Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.

No. 20. Quote:
Q: "What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic
existentialist?"
A: "Is there a dog?"

No. 21. Quote:
If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.

No. 22. Quote:
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain

No. 23. Quote:
You have an unusual equipment for success. Be sure to use it properly.

No. 24. Quote:
A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.