Fortune Quotes - 10-02-2016_120003

No. 0. Quote:
An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future.

No. 1. Quote:
Q: What's tan and black and looks great on a lawyer?
A: A doberman.

No. 2. Quote:
The Least Successful Collector
Betsy Baker played a central role in the history of collecting. She
was employed as a servant in the house of John Warburton (1682-1759) who had
amassed a fine collection of 58 first edition plays, including most of the
works of Shakespeare.
One day Warburton returned home to find 55 of them charred beyond
legibility. Betsy had either burned them or used them as pie bottoms. The
remaining three folios are now in the British Museum.
The only comparable literary figure was the maid who in 1835 burned
the manuscript of the first volume of Thomas Carlyle's "The Hisory of the
French Revolution", thinking it was wastepaper.
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"

No. 3. Quote:
The Public is merely a multiplied "me."
-- Mark Twain

No. 4. Quote:
Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance.

No. 5. Quote:
You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy.
A pity that it's totally undeserved.

No. 6. Quote:
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain

No. 7. Quote:
Avoid reality at all costs.

No. 8. Quote:
Don't feed the bats tonight.

No. 9. Quote:
You will soon forget this.

No. 10. Quote:
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only it's his light bulb when he's done.

No. 11. Quote:
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is
oblivion.
-- Mark Twain

No. 12. Quote:
You will get what you deserve.

No. 13. Quote:
It was all so different before everything changed.

No. 14. Quote:
You will be divorced within a year.

No. 15. Quote:
Be security conscious -- National defense is at stake.

No. 16. Quote:
You're currently going through a difficult transition period called "Life."

No. 17. Quote:
Q: Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
A: To conform with departmental regulations concerning uniform dress.

No. 18. Quote:
A classic is something that everyone wants to have read
and nobody wants to read.
-- Mark Twain, "The Disappearance of Literature"

No. 19. Quote:
Your lover will never wish to leave you.

No. 20. Quote:
You will gain money by an illegal action.

No. 21. Quote:
Give thought to your reputation. Consider changing name and moving to
a new town.

No. 22. Quote:
Knucklehead: "Knock, knock"
Pee Wee: "Who's there?"
Knucklehead: "Little ol' lady."
Pee Wee: "Liddle ol' lady who?"
Knucklehead: "I didn't know you could yodel"

No. 23. Quote:
You may my glories and my state dispose,
But not my griefs; still am I king of those.
-- William Shakespeare, "Richard II"

No. 24. Quote:
Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.