Fortune Quotes - 24-01-2016_120002

No. 0. Quote:
Steady movement is more important than speed, much of the time. So long
as there is a regular progression of stimuli to get your mental hooks
into, there is room for lateral movement. Once this begins, its rate is
a matter of discretion.
-- Corwin, Prince of Amber

No. 1. Quote:
Q: "What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic
existentialist?"
A: "Is there a dog?"

No. 2. Quote:
Accent on helpful side of your nature. Drain the moat.

No. 3. Quote:
You work very hard. Don't try to think as well.

No. 4. Quote:
You are as I am with You.

No. 5. Quote:
You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.

No. 6. Quote:
Never commit yourself! Let someone else commit you.

No. 7. Quote:
We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was
also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a
French restaurant. [...]
I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk
white BMW and her Jordache smile. There had been a fight. I had punched her
boyfriend, who fought the mechanical bulls. Everyone told him, "You ride the
bull, senor. You do not fight it." But he was lean and tough like a bad
rib-eye and he fought the bull. And then he fought me. And when we finished
there were no winners, just men doing what men must do. [...]
"Stop the car," the girl said.
There was a look of terrible sadness in her eyes. She knew about the
woman of the tollway. I knew not how. I started to speak, but she raised an
arm and spoke with a quiet and peace I will never forget.
"I do not ask for whom's the tollway belle," she said, "the tollway
belle's for thee."
The next morning our youth was a memory, and our happiness was a lie.
Life is like a bad margarita with good tequila, I thought as I poured whiskey
onto my granola and faced a new day.
-- Peter Applebome, International Imitation Hemingway
Competition

No. 8. Quote:
O, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive.
-- Sir Walter Scott, "Marmion"

No. 9. Quote:
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #13
A: Doc, Happy, Bashful, Dopey, Sneezy, Sleepy, & Grumpy
Q: Who were the Democratic presidential candidates?

No. 10. Quote:
Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.

No. 11. Quote:
The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.
-- Mark Twain

No. 12. Quote:
Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is?
A: One per person.

No. 13. Quote:
You learn to write as if to someone else because NEXT YEAR YOU WILL BE
"SOMEONE ELSE."

No. 14. Quote:
You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationships.

No. 15. Quote:
Q: How many Martians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One and a half.

No. 16. Quote:
I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamt that I was reading on,
so I woke up from sheer boredom.

No. 17. Quote:
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
-- Mark Twain

No. 18. Quote:
Save energy: be apathetic.

No. 19. Quote:
You have Egyptian flu: you're going to be a mummy.

No. 20. Quote:
Q: What do you call a blind pre-historic animal?
A: Diyathinkhesaurus.

Q: What do you call a blind pre-historic animal with a dog?
A: Diyathinkhesaurus Rex.

No. 21. Quote:
Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose.

No. 22. Quote:
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 23. Quote:
While you recently had your problems on the run, they've regrouped and
are making another attack.

No. 24. Quote:
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.