名人名言 - 23-02-2016_120003

No. 0. Quote:
Q: What's tan and black and looks great on a lawyer?
A: A doberman.

No. 1. Quote:
The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with
commoner things. It is chief of the world's luxuries, king by the grace of God
over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the
angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because
she repented.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 2. Quote:
I dote on his very absence.
-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

No. 3. Quote:
Ships are safe in harbor, but they were never meant to stay there.

No. 4. Quote:
Q: How many Martians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One and a half.

No. 5. Quote:
I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamt that I was reading on,
so I woke up from sheer boredom.

No. 6. Quote:
Your present plans will be successful.

No. 7. Quote:
You have a truly strong individuality.

No. 8. Quote:
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a
week sometimes to make it up.
-- Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad"

No. 9. Quote:
Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.

No. 10. Quote:
You have an unusual magnetic personality. Don't walk too close to
metal objects which are not fastened down.

No. 11. Quote:
Your aim is high and to the right.

No. 12. Quote:
Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch.

No. 13. Quote:
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
-- Mark Twain

No. 14. Quote:
You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy.
A pity that it's totally undeserved.

No. 15. Quote:
Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.

No. 16. Quote:
Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.

No. 17. Quote:
Your reasoning is excellent -- it's only your basic assumptions that are wrong.

No. 18. Quote:
Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.
-- William Shakespeare, "As You Like It"

No. 19. Quote:
It's a very *__UN*lucky week in which to be took dead.
-- Churchy La Femme

No. 20. Quote:
You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant.

No. 21. Quote:
The countdown had stalled at 'T' minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first
female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick,
rubbery lips unmistakably -- the first of many such advances during what
would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my
career.
-- Winning sentence, 1985 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.

No. 22. Quote:
You will never know hunger.

No. 23. Quote:
You're currently going through a difficult transition period called "Life."

No. 24. Quote:
You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.