Fortune Quotes - 20-02-2016_120005

No. 0. Quote:
Q: How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying?
A: When his lips move.

No. 1. Quote:
A few hours grace before the madness begins again.

No. 2. Quote:
You will be winged by an anti-aircraft battery.

No. 3. Quote:
You have no real enemies.

No. 4. Quote:
There was a phone call for you.

No. 5. Quote:
Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

No. 6. Quote:
Good day to let down old friends who need help.

No. 7. Quote:
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed
down-stairs a step at a time.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

No. 8. Quote:
Q: What does a WASP Mom make for dinner?
A: A crisp salad, a hearty soup, a lovely entree, followed by
a delicious dessert.

No. 9. Quote:
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #21
A: Dr. Livingston I. Presume.
Q: What's Dr. Presume's full name?

No. 10. Quote:
Q: What do monsters eat?
A: Things.

Q: What do monsters drink?
A: Coke. (Because Things go better with Coke.)

No. 11. Quote:
Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.

No. 12. Quote:
Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world.

No. 13. Quote:
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be
sorry.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 14. Quote:
Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.

No. 15. Quote:
Big book, big bore.
-- Callimachus

No. 16. Quote:
You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.

No. 17. Quote:
Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm
as intelligent as ever.
-- Samuel Beckett, "Endgame"

No. 18. Quote:
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
-- Mark Twain

No. 19. Quote:
Your business will go through a period of considerable expansion.

No. 20. Quote:
You will remember something that you should not have forgotten.

No. 21. Quote:
Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose.

No. 22. Quote:
O, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive.
-- Sir Walter Scott, "Marmion"

No. 23. Quote:
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has
only nine lives.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 24. Quote:
You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationships.