Fortune Quotes - 08-02-2016_120001

No. 0. Quote:
Never be led astray onto the path of virtue.

No. 1. Quote:
You're definitely on their list. The question to ask next is what list it is.

No. 2. Quote:
A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?

No. 3. Quote:
They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.
-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"

No. 4. Quote:
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
A: "The elephants are coming over the hill."

Q: What did he say when saw them coming over the hill wearing
sunglasses?
A: Nothing, for he didn't recognize them.

No. 5. Quote:
I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New
England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be
raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in
New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for
countries that require a good article, and will take their custom elsewhere
if they don't get it.
-- Mark Twain

No. 6. Quote:
You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant.

No. 7. Quote:
Are you sure the back door is locked?

No. 8. Quote:
Let me take you a button-hole lower.
-- William Shakespeare, "Love's Labour's Lost"

No. 9. Quote:
Never look up when dragons fly overhead.

No. 10. Quote:
There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a
rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2,
to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the
manuscript of his forthcoming book. No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2
admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

No. 11. Quote:
A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)
-- by Charles Dickens

A man in love with a girl who loves another man who looks just
like him has his head chopped off in France because of a mean
lady who knits.

Crime and Punishment LITE(tm)
-- by Fyodor Dostoevski

A man sends a nasty letter to a pawnbroker, but later
feels guilty and apologizes.

The Odyssey LITE(tm)
-- by Homer

After working late, a valiant warrior gets lost on his way home.

No. 12. Quote:
Long life is in store for you.

No. 13. Quote:
You are always busy.

No. 14. Quote:
You can rent this space for only $5 a week.

No. 15. Quote:
So this is it. We're going to die.

No. 16. Quote:
This night methinks is but the daylight sick.
-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

No. 17. Quote:
Beware of a tall blond man with one black shoe.

No. 18. Quote:
You can rent this space for only $5 a week.

No. 19. Quote:
Many pages make a thick book, except for pocket Bibles which are on very
very thin paper.

No. 20. Quote:
So you're back... about time...

No. 21. Quote:
In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into
use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather
which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
-- Mark Twain

No. 22. Quote:
Be careful! UGLY strikes 9 out of 10!

No. 23. Quote:
You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.

No. 24. Quote:
You will receive a legacy which will place you above want.